Crazy couponing

     So I wrote about the crazy couponing people here.  I might be becoming one of them.  Seriously, how can you not try to save money?  I don't have a picture to post but just spent $47 at Safeway and saved $55.  Yes, $55.  Some was just regular club card savings, some coupons, some ecoupons which I am really enjoying b/c you seemingly can combine them with manufacturers coupons, and some internet coupons I printed oh and a $10/$50 coupon.  Really, that is the only way I would shop at Safeway regularly, otherwise it is way more expensive than Winco. (Here's hoping Winco will start taking internet printables soon, that would really make my day!)
     My best buy.  5 boxes of wheat thins for free.  Yep. Free.  If you bought 5 they were only $1 a piece, plus by becoming a fan of wheat things on facebook here you can print off $1/1 box.  I hit my back button, printed 2 at home and at work printed 2 more.  Plus I had the same coupon from the sunday paper that I had cut out.  That makes 5 $1 off coupons bringing the cost to FREE!  Okay, so not only that, but there is a rebate form if you buy 10 Nabisco products, you get $10 rebate check.  So, not only were 5 of the boxes free, I get money back on them.  I bought 3 boxes at Winco for $1.66 each and have 2 more boxes to buy for the rebate.  There were other good deals as well but won't go into them.  But I will say a big chunk of the $47 was $11 for a bag of cat food.  When I think about the milk, yogurt, bread, meat, produce, crackers, cereal, chips, pudding that I got for really $36 it makes me happy.  Okay, I said I wasn't going to go into it. 
     I know, I said I didn't have the pantry space.  Well, I created a small amount in the garage when I stocked up on hubby's favorite cereal a couple of months ago.  Here is what I won't do though.  I don't plan on going through the line for multiple transactions (at this point anyway), I don't plan on buying things I don't need just to give them away (Like get a glucose meter for free).  I don't have the energy or time for stuff like that. 
     I will say this stresses me out just a little.  Like I was worried I hadn't spent enough at Safeway as I thought you had to use the $10 off coupon after all other coupons but the cashier did it second.  And it took me longer to shop b/c I wanted to find all the right deals and make sure my coupons were for the right stuff. 
I think I need a better way to organize my coupons for when I am shopping, but will work on that.
Here is the best part of this:  there are lots of blogs out there with women who have more time than I do to find all the great deals and write about them.  Not only do they write about them but put the links up for all the printable coupons and rebates.  It makes it almost easy which is why I am doing this. Seriously, I have three children and work part time.  I don't have a lot of extra time for stuff like this.
I didn't really save any on my grocery budget this month because of Christmas, but am looking forward to saving some next month.  Will keep you posted.

Dec. 24th

"Silent night, holy night All is calm, all is bright
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child
Holy Infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace
Silent night, holy night!
Shepherds quake at the sight
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia!
Christ, the Saviour is born
Christ, the Saviour is born
Silent night, holy night
Son of God, love's pure light
Radiant beams from Thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth
Jesus, Lord, at Thy birth "

Dec. 22nd

Wow, three days until Christmas.  I am feeling pretty relaxed right now.  Had an awesome day hanging out with a great friend and even though I look around my house at the absolute mess, I just don't care.  That's a good thing.  What will get done will get done and whatever doesn't get done, it's okay.
But today I am thinking about 3 days.  Remember when you were 9 months pregnant (I am assuming most people reading this are moms)?  Remember that feeling?  You just wanted that baby out.  You are ready to meet him/her, hold them in your arms and be able to put shoes on in a dignified manner.  But it was also stressful in a way, wondering when you were going to go into labor.  How it would all pan out. Would you make it to the hospital?  Would it be fast or slow?  Was your water going to break while in the grocery store and go everywhere?  Stuff like that.
Now imagine, you are Mary.   She was young.  Her and Joseph had to travel many miles to get to Bethlehem for the census.  She rode a donkey and was very pregnant.  They had no place to stay, no doctor, no bed.  Can you imagine?  This child was created by God.  Do you think she wondered if her child would be normal?  Healthy?  I imagine I would be full of a million questions.  Yet all she could do was wait.  Wait for Jesus to come.  Do you think she knew?  Do you think she realized what His coming would mean? 
I imagine she didn't know fully the significance of this birth.  Yet, it didn't really matter did it?  To her, she was bearing her son.  She could feel him move in her.  Anticipated his birth.  Hoped everything would turn out okay.  Loved him fiercely as any mother loves her child.  As we love our children.  I don't really think I give Mary enough credit.  She has been over idealized.  But I think I neglect her a little too much.  She must have been an amazing woman for God to have chosen her for this task.  Knowing the heartache she would go through eventually.  He entrusted His son to her.  I can't wait to meet her in heaven.

Dec. 21st

Holiday.  I really hate that word. I refuse to tell people "happy holidays".  I refuse to buy cards that say "have a good holiday" or "hope your holiday is merry".  I feel very strongly about this.  And I get it.  I honestly get that there are people who don't believe in Jesus, who don't celebrate His birth, who celebrate Hannukah (am not sure how to spell that) or santa or whatever else there is this month.  But to me, this holiday is a celebration of Christ's birth.  His birth.  That is why Christmas is here.  That is my belief and I feel I have the right to tell people "Merry Christmas".
So Merry Christmas to all of you!

Dec. 20th

I was sitting at church today which just so happens to meet in a school cafeteria and I noticed some pictures on the wall that kids had colored in.  They were pictures of santa, christmas trees with presents underneath, and teddy bears.  For some reason it really struck me how empty it all was.  Christmas without Christ.  What is the point?  Presents? pine trees to cut down and put in your house and decorate? It is all meaningless if you take Jesus out of the picture.  So empty and sad.  I can't even imagine.  That was how I celebrated Christmas the first 8 years of my life.  I do remember it and yet still can't imagine it.  I also remember the let down, you know after all the presents are unwrapped and you look around and there is nothing else.  That's it.  Because you have built up this great santa giving, present getting purpose and once it is over, it's over.  All the excitement is gone, all the build up.  Okay you get my point.
But now, now I have Jesus.  His birth, His life, His death even and most importantly, His resurrection.  I get that hope.  The hope that comes with Christmas.  The hope for something more than this life.  There is something more than this life.  This life that can be so hard and full of so many disappointments, this is not all there is.  And I am so glad for that hope.  That hope I can pass to my children.
So this week, with all the hustle and bustle of trying to get everything perfect, every present wrapped, every goody baked, every dustbunny dusted...I am not.  I am not going to let it get to me.  I am going to keep my focus on what brought us to this "holiday".  The birth of my Saviour.  Because, when He was born, everything changed.  My life changed because of His birthday.  My Christmas changed once I learned the truth.  And I am so thankful for that truth!

Dec. 20th

5 days until Christmas.  It's so hard to believe how quickly this month goes by.  Before we know it, it will be over.  The tree will be taken down, decorations put away, treats eaten, presents opened.
But the true reason for Christmas is eternal, never ending.  Jesus coming as a precious baby, our Savior is an amazing gift.  Something to remember and be thankful for every day of our lives.

Dec. 17th

Today was not a good keeping in the spirit of the season kind of day.  So am going to look at the brief bright sides in my day:
having impromptu "coffee" with a friend whom I haven't seen in awhile
wrapping presents (I do really love giving gifts)
watching Elf - for the first time.  Am not sure it will become a classic for me but pretty funny
hearing son sing songs about Jesus-this one is the best
having my kids actually play together without fighting-granted they played loudly which I really wasn't up for  
    but at least they were getting along
That's it.  All I got for today.
Maybe tomorrow will be brighter:-)

Dec. 16th

You know one of the things I love most about working?  Especially on wednesdays when my husband is home with the kids?  Is coming in the door and having all the kids so excited to see me and hug me and tell me about their days.  That is something that is usually reserved for husbands.  Let me tell you, it feels great.
I know this is another post sort of about work, but once again it is late and I am tired.  I am also grateful at this moment for my bed and the fact that I don't have to work tomorrow.  So maybe I will get to sleep in a little.

Dec. 15th

I can hardly believe it is the middle of December already. 
So yesterday I sort of went off on a tangent.  I started talking about being thankful for my job and then got a little defensive.  I am working on that. 
I am going to go back to the subject of my job though because I didn't really get to the point I was trying to make yesterday.  That happens when I am tired.  So here goes try number 2.
I am grateful for a career that God has blessed me with that I enjoy.  I have seen lots of people go to work every day not liking what they do.  For whatever reason they got into the job they have, whether it was for the money, or lack of education or lack of other job availability.  When I was in high school thinking about what I wanted to do with my life, I knew I had to pick a job that I would like.  My dad is an architect.  He became an architect b/c it was a smarter decision money-wise than being an art teacher.  But it wasn't a wiser decision than being happy.  I knew I would never pick a job just for the money.  Because if you are going to spend thousands of hours of your life doing something you should enjoy doing it. 
I am grateful that I got to this place.  It was hard getting to be a physical therapist.  It is hard right now trying to get an extra certification.  But God helped me and is helping me all the way.  Someday, maybe I will even own a clinic.  I don't know what path He has for me.  But I know to trust Him with it.  And I am truly grateful that He put something on my heart to do that I enjoy.

Dec. 14th

Being a working mom has its advantages and disadvantages.  There is a big movement for women to stay home.  I get that.  I do think it is important for kids to be raised by their parents and not in daycare all the time.  But I also know that God gives us a calling.  Some women are born to be stay at home moms.  It comes naturally.  They love volunteering at their kids' school or home schooling, doing craft projects, taking them places, all that stuff that goes along being with your kids 24/7.  Then there are women, like me.  I do feel like I was born to be a mom.  But I also feel I was born to be a physical therapist.  I often get a look from Christians when they find out I work.  Like they feel sorry for me b/c we can't make ends meet and I have to work.  But that is not necessarily the case.  God put that calling on my heart in high school and it stuck with me through thick and thin.  It took 2 years for me to get into graduate school.  The second time I applied, I only got on a waiting list and I was literally like 124 on that list.  Pretty dismal odds.  I told my husband that I was giving up on school and we were going to have kids.  That was it.  I was done.  Then I got a call.  From the school, saying I was accepted and did I want to join their class of 2002?  It was truly a miracle for me.  Truly God's will.  Especially b/c it meant moving across the country to a place that was scary (Philly) and without knowing a soul. 
But I digress.  My point is, while I love being a mom.  I love being a PT.  It comes naturally to me most of the time.  When someone walks in my office, in pain, barely walking and I can provide immediate relief of their symptoms.  That is a good day.  A day I know what I am doing is right.  Yes, I am torn.  It is hard not being there for my kids every day.  But I know I am a better mom b/c of my job.  It might sound selfish and writing it/thinking it sometimes sounds selfish.  Yet, I know what it took for me to get to the place where I am.  It took God.  It took His gift.  It took His plan.  His courage.   I am pretty sure I never would have made it to this place alone.

Dec. 13th

Today, being Sunday, I am grateful for my church.  My husband and I searched for many years for a church that fit us.  We found a through the Bible church that we learned a lot from, but it was big.  2000 people big.  You could go to the same service every sunday for years (as we did) and see different people every sunday.  Plus it was a 30 minute drive which made it hard to get involved.  I know that sounds like an excuse but with 3 young kids, it was impossible for us to really connect.  So when we heard that a pastor of a church we went to long ago was back in the area to start a church we were so excited.  Husband went to the first service by himself.  It was at 5 pm on a sunday and kids under 5 were to stay in the service with the adults.  Kind of intimidating when you have three kids 4 and under.  I mean seriously, could we control our children through an evening service every Sunday and get something out of it. 
Now, almost 2 years later.  I can count on my hands the number of times we have missed church.  That has not been the same in our previous 12 years of marriage.  We used to miss all the time.  But now I feel accountable.  I have people ask me if we were okay when we missed.  We have a church body who cares about us.  A pastor who is apparently oblivious to noisy children (my daughter once screamed as I was carrying her out of the service "I don't want a spanking").  The service is now at 10 am and our 6 year old goes to sunday school (and in 6 months or so our daughter will as well) and we love it.  I feel it as changed me, finding my place in a church.  It has made me yearn to seek God more, to be more Christlike, to help my children grow in the knowledge of Him.
It is still a struggle to go to church sometimes.  I mean, satan really doesn't want us to go.  My husband and I fight more on sundays before church than probably any other time of the week.  But we get there, and I feel peace.  And I know that we beat satan that day.  He tried to keep us from learning and we beat him.  And we will again next week.  And our children are learning and loving God and I pray that never ends.

Dec. 12th

Yes, I know I skipped a day but what can you do.  Fridays are a very busy day for me.
So on to saturday.
Today I am putting up Christmas decorations and listening to Christmas music.  I love all the stuff that goes with Christmas.  I know not all of it comes from Christian traditions but I still love it.  It makes me think of family and my grandma.  My grandma loved Christmas.  She decorated like crazy, made homemade candy, put together the most amazing Christmas dinner.  Not to mention getting up before anyone else Christmas morning (which was hard with my brother and I anxiously waiting for presents) to make homemade cinnamon rolls.  Seriously.  She did not make them ahead of time.  She got up and made them fresh Christmas morning.  Every year.  I don't even know what time she got up.  Homemade bread takes time to raise.  They were always perfect.  The smells in her house were awesome.  She loved her family.  She took care of and spoiled us.
I wish I had taken the time to learn more from her when I had the chance.
Family, is one of the best things about Christmas!

Dec. 10th

     I know that God shapes my life daily when I let Him.  But there are specific things in my life, where I see His hand very clearly.  One of those things is my husband. 
     I fell in love with him the first time I saw him.  He was literally one of the first boys I met at George Fox.  I think it was his eyes that caught me.  However, he just didn't feel the same way.  And as an 18 year old that was so tragic.  But I got over it and we became friends of sorts.  My sophomore year, I was sort of discouraged about men.  It is hard when you are shy and you see friends who have boyfriends and want so badly for someone to love you.  But when you are still broken, and I was broken by my father, that is not a good time to have a boyfriend.  One day I was in my room and it was pouring and I was lonely and sad.  Then a beautiful rainbow showed up right outside my window.  And I felt God's presence in such a strong way.  I saw this picture of His hands, in one was me.  He was carrying me, molding me, healing me.  In the other was this unknown boy.  Whom He was also shaping and molding, guiding him toward manhood.  And I knew. That was the man I was going to marry. That God was in control.  I wrote down my list.  My list of qualities I wanted in a man.  I literally had no picture of this guy in my head.  I didn't see faces of boys I knew at school.  All I saw was a shadow, in God's hand.
     My senior year, this boy I had been so in love with my freshman year came back in the picture through a mutual friend.  He had just broken up with his girlfriend and started hanging out with my group of friends again.  I was so grateful to be over him and to appreciate him as a friend.  That is how I truly felt when he started hanging out with us.  And that enabled me to be myself.  A group of us went to the beach one weekend and stayed at Twin Rocks.  He and I stayed up all night talking.  It was amazing really.  I have no idea what we talked about.  And it wasn't flirting or anything like that.  It was just 2 friends talking.  When we actually started dating about a month later.  I knew.  I knew he was the one that God held in his hands.  I had found the notecard a few months earlier trying to make it fit to this other guy I was interested in, but it hadn't been quite right.  But for this man, everything fit.  There wasn't one thing on that notecard that wasn't a part of who my husband was.  He was that man.  And I am so lucky...no blessed to have him.  He is an amazing husband and somtimes I take him for granted and forget to appreciate all that he does.  But I love him with all my heart.
     If we had started dating our freshman year, it would have been so different.  We both had things to do before we could be together.  I am so glad I have a God whom I can trust, who knows our futures, knows our needs, wants what is best for us.  But also a God who brings comfort and assurance.  What an amazing gift that is in this world that can be so difficult at times.

Dec. 9th

Okay so this is kind of hard.  Blogging every day.  Especially in the month of December when life is crazy and I am too exhausted at night to even think of anything interesting to say.
But, today I am grateful for...the comforts of home.  It is really cold outside.  Okay maybe not Michigan or Kansas cold but cold for us western Oregonians.  It is a dry cold which helps but still, cold.  But coming home, in my nice warm car to my Christmas lights shining on my warm and cozy house.  There are so many people out there who can't say that.  Who either can't afford to heat their house or don't have a house to heat, people living in their cars, on the street.  This year, it is just really hitting me how lucky I am.  Sure I wouldn't mind a bigger house, a family room, a bathtub I can actually get all of my body under the water with, a kitchen with plenty of cupboard and counter space.  But that would just be all icing.  My cake, my foundation is pretty darn good.  It's home and I am truly blessed.

Dec. 8th

Today we got our Christmas tree.  I love everything about having a Christmas tree: the lights, the ornaments, the smell (okay maybe not the needles all over the place).  I know that it is not really a Christ centered thing.  People from our church set up a big manger scene instead.  Which I am sure is beautiful and meaningful and I might want to start that tradition some day.  But I am not quite ready to give up the tree for the manger scene.  Writing that out makes me think I might have my priorities in the wrong place.  And yet I still love our tree.  Because how ever the tradition of the Christmas tree started, it means Christmas and family and love to me.  And I guess that is good enough for now.
Someday, maybe we will have both.

Dec. 7th

     I love it when God reaffirms something He has put on my heart.  Often, I get these nudgings from Him to do something and for some reason sometimes it is really hard to obey.  Whether it is calling someone, sending a card, donating money...whatever it might be, some of my insecurities or worldly doubts come in to play.  When I do obey, I always feel blessed.  So why is it so hard?  I just don't know. 
     What isn't hard though is when God not only puts it on my heart but on my husbands' as well.  Then I know I had better do it.  And often, when it is something bigger that really affects us both, I will pray that He will have the same desire as mine.  This happened recently.  God put something on my heart and I felt excited to do it when the idea first hit and then I started second guessing whether I really should, if I had the time or the energy, all those excuses we make for ourselves when trying to justify not obeying God.  But then He put it on my husbands heart as well and I knew I couldn't ignore it.
     Through all this, when people ask "how can we be sure that God is real?"  I know from my interactions with Him daily, that He is real, powerful, loving, on our side, protecting us.  And it gives me hope.  Hope despite the difficulties of the world.  Hope for our future in heaven.  I look forward to that day for sure!
(if this post seems a little unorganized, I am tired and have a cranky kid screaming at me so I apologize.)
  

Dec. 5th and 6th

Okay, this weekend, I dropped the ball a little.  But I do have a good excuse.  I was in class most of the weekend and then recuperating what little I had left with my kiddos.
I think last night as I was driving home, utterly exhausted, I just felt grateful to God that He knows our needs.  Some needs we know and some we don't.  Last night for me, it was sleep.  And I got it.  The best night's sleep I had had in a week.  Granted, it was a little less than 7 hours but that was enough somehow for me to feel refreshed. 
Now I am hoping for that same kind of thing tonight.

Dec. 4th

It's late.  I am tired.  I almost forgot about this.  And that is exactly why I am doing this.
Tonight, I feel hopeful.  Even feeling tired, overwhelmed, stressed, I know I have rest and peace in Jesus my Savior.  What an empty life it would be without Him.

Dec. 3rd

Seriously, I am having a week.  A week where I forget what time my son gets out of school.  A week where I almost put a post on my wrong blog.  One that would not go over well with some people who read that blog.  Why this blog is more private.  Anyway, I figured out finally that I posted on the wrong blog, deleted it and now get to type it all over.  Fun times.  And it's only Day 3 (Jesus is the reason, Jesus is the reason...I have to keep saying that to myself)
Here we go:
God's love.  I think people just really don't understand it.  I am not saying I fully understand it myself but it saddens me to think of so many people in our world who live without knowing God loves them.  Today I read a discussion page (on Amazon of all places) where someone brought up the topic "why do Christians pray for Obama to die?" I actually know people who feel that way.  By that, I mean I know strong Christians who feel that way.  Really?? How can someone profess God's love on one hand and pray for the death of another human being on the other? I don't get it. It is easy to try to justify it, I mean there are people like Hitler, Sadam Hussein, Mussolini who were truly horrible people (among many others in history) who brought death and destruction to their countries.  If were under any of them, I might pray for their death.  But I honestly find it hard to believe that Obama is in those categories. But that doesn't really matter does it?  It doesn't matter that they are the most horrible peron on earth or just someone who is misguided.  The truth of the matter is God loves us.  Period.  We are all sinners.  Every...single....one....of....us.  And I truly believe that killing a person is the same as a lie in God's book.  Not in a human book.  Someone who murders should go to prison, someone who lies should not necessarily.  But God loves us all.  Equally.  He loved us enough to send His son as a baby to die for us.  He knew.  He knew His son would eventually be tortured and put to a horrible death.  And He did it anyway.  I don't think that I, as a mother, could do the same.  Could have a baby knowing something like that.  But He did it.  For you.  For me.  For Hitler even.  He did it.
God's love.  Amazing.

Dec. 2nd

This was a busy day for me and I almost forgot to post.  Honestly, if I can't even do 2 days in a row then I am in trouble:-)
I was going to write about my kids (again) but something happened today so will write about the other thing later.  It wasn't anything big, it wasn't even something I officially prayed for.  But it happened.  Like it happens a lot, the small, quiet things.  God took care of me.  So simple really.  But He does it a lot and I think I don't give Him the credit as much as I should. 
I am taking a year long class to get Certified in Manual Therapy which probably doesn't mean much to you but it is a big deal for me.  It is one weekend a month for 10 months.  Yes, 10 months.  One entire weekend.  8-5 on saturday and 8-3 on sunday.  Okay, so no big deal right?  Except that I work, have three kids and along with that comes an abundance of jobs.  One weekend a month is a big chunk of my precious time.  But God opened the door for me to take this class and I know He wants me there.  Did I mention I have to study?  Yes, study because we have quizzes.  So that big chunk of time the class takes is added on to by the studying.  Which I don't really have the energy for and don't make a priority (until the big test in April). 
    I know you are wondering my point here.  I am really tired, sorry.  My point is that on my 10 hour work day, I was scheduled for 12 patients.  How many actually showed?  5.  Times that by approximately 45 minutes and you get less than 4 hours.  What did that leave?  About 5 hours of studying time (I took a break for lunch and a trip to the store).  5 hours of unexpected, have nothing better to do, getting paid for...study time.  What a gift!  God is so good!

Dec 1st

Last night as I went to tuck my beautiful children in for the night, I had an urge to just sit and watch them sleep and then I had an urge to pray over them.  What a gift.  Prayer.  It has not always been my focus and often it has become my last resort.  When I am weary, brokenhearted, despairing - that is when I have found myself crying out to God.  Fortunately more recently it has come to my mind before I get to that point.  It didn't come easy at first, to pray more often, to pray proactively and sometimes, I feel I am just saying the same things over and over.  But with help from a terrific prayer partner and God's leading, I have been praying more and more.  How amazing is it, that our God listens to our prayers, that He answers them, that He never tires of listening to us.  How amazing that He sent His son to be our intercessor!  As I prayed over my children, I was reminded that He loves my them even more than I do and how blessed I am that He watches over them without ceasing.  Surely I can at least attempt the same with talking to my Lord.
"Therefore, let us come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need" Hebrews 4:16

Blog challenge to myself

Over the past month there have been lots of blogs out there celebrating daily what they are thankful for.  I thought I should do something like that but it was already the middle of November and Thanksgiving was coming fast and I realized that it would be more beneficial to me, to try daily blogging in December.  I love Christmas.  It has always been my favorite holiday.  But it is so easy to get caught up in the worldly aspect of Christmas.  Especially because I love to give gifts (I even enjoy receiving them a little:-), send Christmas cards and I love to bake and before I know it, I am stressed out about giving the right gifts, baking enough of something and getting things in the mail...sigh, I hate going to the post office.   And I start losing what Christmas is all about.  So, here is my challenge for the month of December: my daily blog will be something to help me stay focused on Christ.
     I am good at starting up on these challenges I give myself and then not following through so I am hopeful I can do it this time.  We will see.

Words

A few weeks ago, the ladies from my church got together and the pastor's wife did a short little Bible study. It was amazing really. I wish it had been recorded so I could listen to it again. It was just exactly what I needed to hear. The topic was on the words that we speak and how they can affect other people and us in ways we just don't even know.
Proverbs 25:11 "A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver".
I am a shy person. In new settings or around people I am just meeting, I am pretty guarded with my words. I think that is actually a good thing. We have all known people who just say whatever comes to their head and sometimes that is okay and sometimes it is not. Words can be so hurtful and sometimes we don't even realize what we are saying or how we are saying something can hit a wrong note.
Matthew 12: 36-37 "But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give acocunt of it in the day of judgement. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned." That is Jesus speaking.
However, when I am alone or with my kids/husband, or people I am more comfortable with, I am not so careful with my words. I know I have said things in the past that as soon as they have come out of my mouth, I regret them. I know instantly it was a hurtful thing to say and even if I didn't mean it to come out that way, those words are out there. Hard to take back. I am especially brutal with my kids. There is much less of a filter with them. That was what another mom was saying in the group, that our kids get the brunt of things. You know when you are in a hurry or they are not listening and you are frazzled...man it is so easy to just yell or say something that is not right. I guess I haven't focused to much on it (much to my shame) b/c my kids are little and honestly, they won't remember those harsh words. But, they are coming to an age where they will remember. They will remember having a crazed mommy who actually made them cry b/c of her words (hanging head much farther in shame).
So here is my prayer:
Psalm 19:14 "Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer."
Since this study, I have really been trying to not raise my voice to my kids but to approach them calmly and more lovingly. From my previous post, you can see where my desire is anyway. I think that is where the meditation part comes in. If I meditate on God, read His words, pray without ceasing, focus on Him, then hopefully the words that do come out of my mouth will be Him spilling out of me and not my sinful nature showing itself. This will help me be that kind of mom that I so desperately want to be, the wife I want to be and the friend I want to be. This world is so harsh already. I don't need to add to it.

Women of Faith

My parents were not believers when I was very little. My mom became a Christian when I was 8 and then my dad left. And that sort of defines her walk with God. Someone who takes things away. I became a Christian after my dad left. Even though we were in a really good church, a through the Bible church and I went to private Christian schools, I look at that time in my life as missing seeing strong Christian women. There probably were some that I just didn't really see or appreciate or maybe didn't realize I needed that sort of mentor ...until now.
Now, we belong to an amazing fellowship of believers. There are these women who exude God. It's like it is coming out of their pores. Don't get me wrong, I am not putting them up on a pedestal necessarily but I am coveting a relationship with Jesus that I see in these women. Women who read the Bible, memorize it, study it, seek God daily. Women who love their children and who are Godly mothers.
I want to be that kind of mom. I don't want my kids looking at me and seeing my struggles. Not that I want to hide them from them exactly, I just don't want my struggles to be their struggles. I want them to see that when I am having a hard time with something, I seek God. I want them to know that I pray for them daily, that I trust them in God's hands, that He loves them as much as I love them. I want them to feel secure in my love, in God's love, in life.
Unfortunately, as a person, I am a sinner, imperfect and unworthy and sometimes my kids get the full brunt of that. I am so greatful, to see that it is possible. It is possible to be a Godly mother, to raise kids that love God and stay in love with God as they grow older and not stray. That is truly one of my biggest fears, that I will not give my children the strong foundation they need to not stray from God. But now I have hope and pray that I can become one of these women and that there will be a time when I am so full of Christ, He will flow out of me in everything that I do.

It's the little things...

that can make me happy. Like this:

Can you tell what it is? When I saw it, I knew I had to have it! Even though I knew hubby wouldn't appreciate it like me.















Did you guess what it was? Here is another shot. Doesn't it look great with our newly painted bathroom! We got the paint free from Glidden and I picked the color over the internet so wasn't sure I would like it. But it is so bright and cheary!







Here is the other thing I did today. We finally bought curtains for our living room. Honestly, we have lived here 6 years (yikes!) and never bought curtains. We bought the rods last spring and they have just been dying for something to go on them Here are the before and after shots.



















So much better don't ya think? The best part, since we have been using a cash system, we put money into our home budget every month. It isn't the perfect system and we do go over it sometimes but it really keeps me in check especially for groceries and eating out. Once the money is gone it is gone. But to pull out the money for 4 panels of curtains knowing I didn't have to take it out of my account when I didn't really have the extra funds this month. Feels awesome!

Pursuit of Joy

I am still pursuing it. Still asking myself daily, what makes me joyful. Focusing on positive things has made such an impact the past couple of weeks. I definitely still have grumpy, disgruntled, impatient moments don't get me wrong. That is why I am calling this the pursuit of joy. I think it can be attained but is also something that needs to be worked at to be maintained.
This week, when I have asked myself, what makes me joyful? Things like coffee, sunny days, getting off work early, sleeping in...all those things come to mind first. But is that really joy?? I don't think so. Those things are fleating, can disappoint, can change with a bitter coffee or clouds rolling in or the alarm going off. So I decided to look up the definitions:

Happiness:
1. Characterized by good luck; fortunate.
2. Enjoying, showing, or marked by pleasure, satisfaction, or joy.
3. Being especially well-adapted; felicitous: a happy turn of phrase.
4. Cheerful; willing
The thing that strikes me with that is the word luck and fortunate. Again, fleeting worldly kinds of words. But look at joy:
Joy
1. deep happiness and contentment
2. something that brings deep happiness
3. success or satisfaction
4. To take great pleasure; rejoice.
Okay, yes they do use the word happiness (I should probably look it up in a concordance) Anyway, it still strikes me as different. The 2 words they use that I like: contentment and rejoice
I love the word contentment. In this day and age, we are so bombarded everywhere we go with things to show we shouldn't be content. We should get a bigger house, a showier car, new wardrobes, a fancy phone, fast speed internet....The list goes on and on. How are we, as Christians supposed to respond to this? We can't take our stuff with us. So does that mean we should just go ahead and spend all our money and enjoy it while here? This is something I have struggled with as my husband and I work hard and don't go crazy buying things, we have a small house, buy used cars...yet I look at friends who have one income and yet have big houses, fancy clothes. Jealosy definitey doesn't breed joy and that is what I am after. Contentment. I think God requires of us to be good stewards of what He had given us. I think with contentment in where we are at, comes joy.
Things I have come up with that I believe make me joyful:
- my kids-there is nothing so sweet as a big hug and an I love you from an offspring
- my kids talking about God, asking questions about God, singing about God, makes me feel maybe I am doing something right as a mom and a Christian
- my marriage - yes it has ups and downs that may affect my happiness in my marriage, but deep down, I have an amazing husband whom I love with all my heart and am filled with joy by his love for me. It is a gift I cherish
- my work - sometimes demanding, sometimes boring, again it has its ups and downs but it gives me joy to make people feel better. God gave me this desire to be a PT 20 years ago, He helped me stick with it, gave me a supportive husband, got me into PT school. It is a gift from God to go to work and enjoy what you do.
- my friends - I am blessed to have amazing friends. Some I get to see regularly, some not very often, one in heaven already. They have stuck by me, cried with me, laughed with me, helped me through good times and bad, put up with me and most importantly prayed for and with me.
These things bring me joy. They make life special, bring me deep happiness and contentment.

Coupon Mania

No I don't have it. But it is all over the web. Blogs are written about coupon deals and how best to use coupons and special store savings. I like coupons. I do. But honestly, I don't have the time or the energy that some of these women put into couponing. It's exhausting just reading about it. That being said, I like a good deal. When I get those $10 off at Penny's if you spend $10, I always use them. If not, it is like throwing ten bucks away. Even if all I buy is socks, I make sure it doesn't go to waste. I also clip coupons from the sunday paper and make the most of those as I can. I shop at Winco which saves me money. I try to keep our grocery budget in check is what I am saying.
That being said, I have a friend who has gone over to the dark side of couponing. The ones who go back multiple times to the same store to stock up on 20 boxes of cereal. I will admit, it is intriguing. So I went b/c there were some deals that I couldn't pass up. You can see what I got in the above picture. I spent $16.03. Is that good? I think so. Here is how it adds up. The cereals were 4 for $6 plus I had coupons for 2 of the boxes for an additional $1.30 off. The Gogurts were on sale for 2 for $4 and I had an additional .80 cents off. The Prego was $1.67 each (which is better than I can get it at Winco, wish I had gotten more) and the cleaning supplies were buy one get one free so saved $4.29 there.
There are a couple of issues I have with couponing mania:
One, the idea of it is to stock up when things are on sale and I just don't have the pantry for 20 boxes of cereal.
Two, usually things that are crazy on sale like the above cereal are things that I wouldn't normall buy. Honestly, 3 boxes of sugar cereal?? I love sugar cereal but I try not to buy it that often. The sale did have stuff like granola bars in it but that brings me to:
Three, I often can't buy the stuff on sale b/c of sons peanut allergy.
This is why I wouldn't go back and go crazy stocking up. But I will try to watch some of these sales closer (or watch my friends blogs to make it even less work for me) to try to trim my grocery budget. Oh I almost forgot to mention with the cereal deal came a coupon for a free box of Capri Sun which I also don't normally buy but it is my turn to take soccer treats in a few weeks so hey, why not.

Thursday thoughts on my faith - Choosing Joy

Wow! It has been a long time. One long summer. Now I get it when parents say they are ready for school. I am hoping to get some semblance of order in my life now that I have 2 in school.
September is a hard month. It always hits me and I always dread it. I talk about it, I cry. I probably drive my husband crazy with my sadness. But I can't help it. When you lose a best friend tragically at a young age, it sticks with you. And I am not going to apologize for it. I am going to embrace it. "Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". Right. That can apply to friendship as well.
I picked up a book this week that Glo had recommended to me the summer before our senior year at Fox. "You Gotta Keep Dancin". Such a great book. I might write more on it later. But basically it says that joy is a choice. Happiness is circumstantial but joy is a choice. That is going to be my theme this school year. I am really going to work on choosing joy.
Choosing joy for me also means embracing emotions. Children show all of their emotions. Every thought, sadness, happiness, fear...everything comes out in some way or another. But as we get older, we train ourselves to conceal all of it. To show strength and stability. Who needs a professional person bursting into tears, or someone standing at the checkout line burst into song or laugh hysterically b/c something funny popped into your head. Obviously there is a time and place for emotions but I feel I have trained myself just a little too much and by doing so have taken the feelings out of everything and it sort of paralyzes me. So I am prayerfully asking for Gods help, to change my heart. Help me live, love, be the person He wants me to be and most of all...choose joy. I can be joyful in my sorrow and pain. Because without one, we wouldn't be able to appreciate the other. Some day in Heaven there will only be joy. And I look forward to that day. I look forward to seeing Glo again. But for now, here on earth, I need to start practicing.

My heart hurts a little...

Tonight Bud threw one of his major tantrums. He absolutely refused to obey me to pick up his toys and get ready for dinner. So I told him, if he didn't, then he would lose them. As I was following through on that, he got out of control. I video taped him which he absolutely didn't like but at least it got him to run to his room where he proceeded to scream and cry. I went in when he had calmed down to talk it out but he didn't want to talk so he stayed there until daddy got home. Once husband finally got him calmed down, he sent me in to talk to him. I asked him what he was supposed to say and he said "I hate to say that word". What word?? "Sorry". I asked is that b/c you weren't sorry for disobeying me? "Yes".
Tear in my heart right there. What do you do when your child is so unrepentant? I prayed with him and that was all I could do. His dad talked to him after he ate and he eventually did say he was sorry and said he meant it. His dad said he thought Bud regretted saying it in the first place. But my heart still hurts. It hurts that he has these thoughts at such a young age. I told him how important forgiveness was, that Jesus sacrificed himself for us but it is all wasted if we don't repent. I don't know if he understood. I hope it was a life lesson for him. It was for me. How desperately we need to pray without ceasing for our children.

Tip of the Week

My tip of the week is if you are baking and run out of brown sugar. This happened to me yesterday and I remembered reading somewhere about making your own brown sugar. It is super easy. Take 1 cup regular sugar and 1-2 Tablespoons molasses and mix them well together with a fork or mixer. If you want lighter brown sugar use 1 Tablespoon or 2 if you want it darker. I did this and my blackberry crisp turned out awesome.
If you don't have molasses in the house, you should b/c it comes in handy with making baked beans.
Hmm...I think I am getting hungry.

Thursday thoughts on my faith

Wake up Call:
I have to say, this has been a really difficult couple of weeks for me. Since Bud got out of school, he has been obnoxious. I am beside myself with the chasing the girls, the girls screaming, Sweet Pea being needy and wanting to be held constantly, everyone fighting, etc...
I always have these goals for myself, pick up the house, do dishes, plan meals, pay bills, play with the kids, go to the library, read my Bible, memorize my verse, the list is neverending. As a mom, you know. It is tough. You go to clean up one mess and then someone pees on the floor. Sometimes I think I can't do it. It is too overwhelming. That is when I make my lists. My to do lists and they always start with read the Word. Read the Word. I really do want to do it. I think every day, have I read the Bible today, have I spent time in prayer today? And then...I don't do it. Praying is easier b/c I can do it anywhere. But reading the Bible is something I desire to do, yet my flesh messes it up everytime.
That's when it hit me. My flesh, my list, my goals. No wonder I have been failing miserably at everything lately. I am trying to do it all on my own and it isn't working. I will not accomplish my goals until I lean on God and try to discover His goals for me. His goals, His goals. Not mine. Mine are petty. His are worthy. I am not going to accomplish anything without His help. And I don't want to. Life is so much easier if we follow His plan and not our own.
Today, as a friend is in the process of a miscarriage and another friends father had a heart attack, I am realizing not only how fragile life is but that even though I feel I am failing, that even though my kids drive me crazy, even though I feel overwhelmed...I am so lucky to have all of it. I really need to start my day with being grateful for everything God has given me.
I have no goals this week, no challenges. Just me, trying to listen to God and praying for His work in my life to come to fruition, not my own selfish desires. And for my friends who are struggling with bigger things right now, not just the ones listed but all my friends, I pray that God pours His love on you this week.

Challenge + tip of the week

It has been one of those blogging days. I know, sorry. But I have 2 more and I will combine them.
The first is a challenge I am putting forth to myself because I really feel I need some accountability. I have a prayer partner and that has been amazing to know that every week, we check in and see what each other needs prayerwise. So now I need some accountability for digging into God's word. I know I should do, I plan to do it, and then at the end of the day, I have not taken the time. I know when I start my day in His word, I have a better day. It is such a good start. And I want my kids to see me doing this. It is so important in our lives. So here is my challenge for myself this week: to read the Bible every day. It doesn't matter if it is a short devotional, getting ready for my Bible study, or my through the Bible plan. I just want to read something.
Maybe as I get this down, I will add more to it. Baby steps here which is why I am doing the challenge for one week only. We will see what next week brings.
Tip of the week: as I was taking my shower today, I noticed how dirty it was. I mean pink stuff growing in the corners dirty. Gross. I hate cleaning the shower. It is so hard to reach everything and I always end up wet. Something I started a couple of years ago and sporadically stick with is, keeping an old body scrub sponge thing in the shower with a bottle of off brand baby shampoo. When I am taking a shower, I simply use that to sponge everything down. It doesn't to deep deep cleaning but it keeps it basically clean and if I started off with a super clean shower it would make do for quite a while. Because you are using baby shampoo, you don't feel gross using it while you are in there and getting it on you. It took me literally 3 minutes to do this and now I don't have to be grossed out in the morning when I get in the shower. Happy showering!

Laundry soap

Sorry this has taken me so long. My pictures are acting funky and I can't rearrange them so they are backwards. Sorry. Here is the recipe that I got from this site:

Water
1/3 bar of Fels Naptha Soap (or my favorite - Zote soap)
1/2 cup washing soda (NOT baking soda - look in the detergent aisle)
1/2 cup Borax
A bucket that will hold at least 2 gallons

Grate the soap. I use my cheese grater.
In separate bowl, mix together washing soda and borax.
Mix fels naptha or zote with about three pints of water in a saucepan. Heat on low until dissolved.
Stir in washing soda and Borax. Stir until thickened and remove from heat.
Add 1 quart of hot water to bucket.
Add soap mixture and stir well. Fill bucket with hot water until you have about two gallons. Mix well again.
Let set 24 hours, or until thickened.

It will be funky goopy. I use a big spoon to stir it up and then (plan to) use a funnel to pour it into an old detergent container. I use 1/2 cup per load.

That is the recipe. I bought a 5 gallon bucket and etched a notch at 2 gallons. That way I have plenty of room for everything and I don't have to measure the water everytime, just fill to the line.
I somehow misplaced the old laundry soap container I was saving, so have left it in the 5 gallon tub. That was a mistake as it didn't have a lid so the water is evaporating. Next time I will be putting it in an old laundry container for sure. I also forgot to figure out how many loads I got from this. Most sites I have checked say they get about 70 loads. I spent $2.99 on Borax, $1.23 on Fels Naptha, $3.19 on Washing Soda. Plus $4.99 for the bucket and I can't remember how much the funnel cost but around $2. That equals: $14.40. The fels naptha will go toward 2 more loads as you only use a 1/3 and the borax and washing soda will go towards numerous loads. Someone else has done the math and it came out to .70 cents for a batch. That is 1 cent a load. I don't know about you but I like Tide and it is something like $22 for a container at Costco and it is about 120 loads so 18 cents a load. That is a big difference.
I am not sure about the Fels Naptha. I am not a big fan of the scent and most sites seem to really like Zote soap but I couldn't find it. Someone said they found it in Target so I will keep looking. All of the items can be found in the laundry aisle.
Let me know what you think. Apparently you can also use a bar of Ivory soap but I haven't tried that and some people use one of those hand held emulsion mixers (I think that is what it is called) to blend it really well so it isn't so goopy. I might try that next time.

Cracking Down

Sigh. I go through spells of being a great disciplinarian and spells where I sort of give up. After a few weeks of not doing so well, I definitely notice a change in my kids. They whine, cry, throw tantrums...you know the drill. If you have kids, you know the drill. Even my 6 year old seems to be regressing. Husband says I coddle him too much, well all the kids actually. I want to have a fun summer of limited whining. So I am cracking down. But this stage, the stage where I start getting tough again, is the hardest of all. The stage that wants me to quit trying b/c I have to be sooo diligent I get nothing else done.
Honestly, I have spent the last 2 hours trying to get my girls to be quiet and settle down for a nap. They need it, their behavior this morning showed me how much they need it. I think, should I just give in, should I just let them get up? But then they win. They know they win and the next time I try, it will be the same thing, potty, drink, toys, talking, getting up...etc. Now that Sweet Pea is in a toddler bed, it is harder. We are just adjusting to it and today it is wearing me out. And i have gotten nothing done b/c I have to keep checking on them, keep reprimanding them, need I say spank them. But how many times do you spank a child or take a toy away for it to work?
I know, until it works. That is what we need to be: diligent. I guess that is my word for the day. Diligent. But I still have hope. Because I have seen how my kids act when I am diligent. They are good kids and they will turn out to be good adults.
As long as I am diligent now.

Thursday thoughts on my faith

Hope.
Such a small word but filled with lots of promise. We received an email from some missionary friends this week and he was talking about the verse "...faith, hope, love but the greatest of these is love." How easy it is to accept the importance of faith and love but hope...that may seem not as important. He was talking about how without hope, it is hard to have faith. How do we have faith if there is no hope of God.
It hit home to me yesterday as Princess was asking me about Maggie, what happens after she dies, is she in heaven? I honestly don't have an answer for her about that. I don't know if animals go to heaven and I am not going to say definitely to her one way or the other. But I do have hope. Hope that we are going to heaven, hope that Jesus knows our hearts and knows how much our animals mean to us on earth. I have hope as I talk to my child about death that when we die, it isn't the end for us, it isn't scary. There are no more owies in heaven. What an amazing thing to be able to tell her.
Imagine if I wasn't able to tell her about heaven, that after we die there is nothing. We are just put in the ground and forgotten about. So sad and so hopeless. What would be our purpose if that was all there is to life? If there was nothing more?
An amazing gift God has given us.
Hope.

Tip of the Week

Here is my tip for the week: I am trying to find ways to save money on my laundry. Between soap, dryer sheets, and the energy it takes to wash and dry all of those loads, it really adds up. So anything to help in this way I am willing to try. I purchased these dryer balls (shown here from Lillian Vernon for $9.98):

They say they help with static, softening clothes and decreasing drying time. I think they do help with decreasing drying time and also with fluffing the clothes. They don't seem to do a whole lot for static cling but what I have been doing is just using 1/2 a dryer sheet and that seems sufficient for the static. I don't use any fabric softener and I have been using my homemade detergent (which I need to post about and will eventually), sometimes I use vinegar in a downy ball for a little extra help in cleaning/sanitizing and that seems to work well.
Give the dryer balls a try and let me know what you think. I actually bought them at Walmart for under $6. A good investment I think.

Thursday Thoughts on My Faith

This has been a rough week. I heard a few weeks ago (and I cannot for the life of me remember where) an analogy about how we see things. As we are going through life, it is like driving down a road. We can only see what is in front of us, we don't see what is around the corner, what is over the next hill. Just what is in front of us. God, on the other hand, looks down at the road like it is a map. He sees every twist and turn, every obstacle in the way, bad weather, speed bump. He gets the broad picture and that is really comforting to me.
When husband and I were picking what day we wanted to get married (really what day I wanted) I originally picked May 27th. I really liked the sound of that. But then my mom pointed out it was Memorial Weekend and I changed it to the 20th. Who knew, 14 years later we would have to put our dog to sleep on May 27th. I never would have guessed that. But imagine how hard it would be to have that be a reminder every anniversary. But God knew. He saw way ahead of time. That might be a stretch for some of you. But here's the other thing. We are going camping this weekend. We have planned it since last September. My mom was going to come and housesit/dogsit for us. 2 days before we leave, we have to make this decision. Now I have a three day weekend and a chance to be away from my house. The house that seems so empty and quiet without her. God saw this bump in the road way ahead of time and covered it, covered us. He always provides for us, even when we don't know it or see the impact of it right away. That is a huge comfort to me.

Tip of the Week

I love reading tips other bloggers write about. It helps me to try new things and is nice to hear what real people are doing.
Here is my tip for the week: When baking, use 1/2 the amount of flour as whole wheat flour and the rest as regular all purpose flour.
I bought whole wheat flour using a friends recipe where it was soaked in yogurt to help cut the taste but it was awful (sorry Abby, maybe if I used Kefir like you did although honestly I have no idea what that is:-). So now I have this 5 pound sack of whole wheat flour and it is sort of expensive. Instead of using the whole amount, I have started substituting 1/2 whole wheat for the flour amount and you can taste it a little but not enough for the kids to really notice.
I have used this in banana bread and gingersnap cookies. Both were a big hit. Maybe as we get used to the taste, I will start adding more. We will see.
It's a small thing but I figure, every little bit helps. Happy baking!

Thursday thoughts on my faith

Treading Water
Do you ever feel like you are not going anywhere? I don't mean necessarily with big life decisions. I mean in the everyday walk we have. This goes along with my post from the other day. I just feel I am out of control. When I try to start getting control, actually sit down to accomplish something.. to move forward on a project, I get sideline. Sidelined by extra laundry b/c son wet the bed so bad or the dog peed on the carpet bad enough I have to shampoo it, or daughter is so cranky she takes all your attention. There I am, not moving anywhere, just treading water, breaking even.
I see moms who seem to have it all together, they cook, clean, take their kids to the park, have playdates, scrapbook, and always look good (so obviously find time to exercise) and I wonder what is wrong with me?? I know that I work, but part time and even though that takes up three of my days, I still have 4 days to accomplish things, to move forward.
How is this related to my faith you might be asking. I feel I am treading water with my relationship with God as well. I read my Bible a couple times a week, listen to Christian music, try to talk to the kids about God, pray, go to church on Sunday, have a Bible study and Women's Prayer group. Looking at that list seems like it should be enough but it just isn't. I am keeping the status quo. I want more than that with God, I want my kids to see more than that in me. I yearn to feel His peace, His presence, His joy. I know He is there, waiting for me to reach out, waiting to embrace me, waiting for me to start swimming. I know that if I can get this tackled, if I can move forward with God, the other things will fall into place. Or at least I will have better tools to deal with the everydayness of life.
I am just not sure where to begin.

Out of Control

I feel my life is out of control. Okay, maybe not my life but my house. It is such a mess. Granted we do have a small house for 5 people with limited storage/closet space but it used to make me more efficient in a way. Now, I just have stuff oozing out of every nook and cranny, every available surface. I was going to post pictures but maybe later.
The thing is, I do have time. If I put my mind to it. I waste a lot of time on the computer. A couple weeks ago someone asked me how much screen time my kids get. My kids get more than they should mostly b/c of the earliness to which they get up. But if I stop and think about my screen time...it is so much more. I limit my TV viewing to after the kids go to bed but computer time on my days home is way too much. If I put as much effort into my house as I do my computer, I might have things under control.
That is my big summer goal. Limit computer time and get my house under control. We are having a garage sale in about 3 weeks so I need to purge, purge, purge as quickly as possible starting today.
Along with the limited computer time, getting my house under control, I want to spend more time with God. Somehow I was able to fit in reading 2 of the Twilight books last week in a matter of days but I can't take 1/2 hour to read the word? Honestly, where are my priorities. While I would much rather have my kids see me reading than being on the computer, I would also rather them see me reading the Bible and see it as a priority.
I will check back in with my progress and maybe post some pictures.

Tuesday Checklist

It has been a crazy 2 weeks. Philly, New York, 2 weddings, stomach bugs and ear infections. You can imagine what my house looks like. Lots of stuff to do this week.
1. Clean house, bathrooms, kitchen, vacuum.
2. Make list of meals for this week - I do so much better if I have a plan
3. Get back into exercising - so hard after so much time off
4. Play with my kids - I really missed them!
5. Write thank you notes
6. Start planning our camping trip for the end of May. Figure out what we still need
7. Start organizing garage. What a mess. Garage sale in 3 1/2 weeks. Hopefully we will get rid of a ton of stuff.
8. Sign kids up for summer camps.

That's it for now. Seems like enough doesn't it?

Tuesdays Checklist

It's midnight so am counting this early. Yes, it is way too late to be up but I have packing, cleaning, getting ready for vacation on my mind. I am so excited to be going on vacation without the kids and sad to be leaving the kids for 6 days. This is the first time my husband and I have flown anywhere in 4 years and last time son was 2 and daughter was in my belly. I have this fear that something could happen to us...but I know God is in control of that.
Back to my checklist: Have a great vacation.
That's it. I want to just relax, eat cheesesteaks, enjoy being with friends and family and watch my friend get married.
See you in a week.

Thursday Thoughts On My Faith

I am going to copy my friend California SAHM on this one. My faith is something I am constantly trying to work on. I really didn't have a good role model growing up of what a good Christian woman or mother is. My mom is great in a lot of ways but when she became a Christian, my dad left. That has sort of defined her walk with God. The kind of God who takes away things that you care about. I don't want to be that way.
We have finally found a church where we belong. Where the first day of being there, it felt like home. Have you had that kind of church? We went to a very big church for 5+years and never was able to connect there. It was so big and far away, we just didn't really get involved. We still aren't able to do some things we would like to like go to the Bible study on Thursday nights but it is too hard with kids, especially kids who really need to be in bed by 8. But husband goes to the men's Bible study and I have been trying to go to the Women's prayer group and the amazing thing is we have hardly missed a day of church since we have been going.
I do have a point. With my interactions with the women leaders of the church, I feel I have finally found women to try to aspire to be like. I know we should try to be like Jesus but He must put people on this earth as role models. I am not talking about putting these women up on a pedestal but to learn from them. These are good, Godly women/mother's who exude Christ in their actions. I have always felt that is the kind of Christian I want to be. I am not so good at witnessing, I have never felt it my calling. But I want my actions to speak of my faith and I feel greatly lacking. Their prayers, thoughtfulness, encouragement of other people ... it is all so positive and uplifting. Something I really need to work on. Being more positive.

Taffy apple dip

I have to add one recipe that I made this weekend for son's party. I found it online a couple of months ago and had it written on a sticky at my desk for weeks so decided to finally try it. It was a huge hit! The bowl was practically licked clean and since I was too busy with the kids and didn't get to eat much, I will have to make it again soon. Here it is:
8 oz cream cheese - softened
1 jar Smuckers caramel ice cream topping
3/4 cup brown sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla

I used a hand mixer to blend the ingredients to make it smooth. It was soooo good. You have to try it!

Tuesdays checklist

I never updated last week but I got everything accomplished except making son's 6 year check up appointment. I will add that to today's list. I am feeling a little blah so don't really feel like making a list but here goes:
1. Make son's 6 year check up appointment
2. Clean house - bathrooms, etc...
3. Catch up on laundry - I am a little behind what with Princess throwing up all over Sweet Pea yesterday and Bud leaking through his pullup last night.
4. Exercise as much as possible this week since I will be out of town next week and need to still fit in the dress I bought for friends wedding
5. Clean desk
6. tackle one spring cleaning task like the windows which were on my list a couple of weeks ago, I did do the kitchen one last weekend and I think it was the worst so the others should be easy comparatively

So that's all I have. Not a big/detailed list. There is more I need to do and maybe I will add more later.
Hope you all have a great week.

Tuesday's checklist

Here it is again. Another tuesday and I already feel behind. This past weekend was crazy with Easter and sick kids. We did have a good weekend, I just didn't get anything done around the house. So that means I have a lot to do this week and really today since I work tomorrow, my dad comes thursday, friday we are going to a kids museum in Salem and saturday is son's birthday party. Here we go:
1. Clean house - bathrooms, floors, windows, kitchen - what a mess!
2. Clean up paper mess downstairs, that is never ending
3. Get kids registered for school next year
4. Sign up for produce basket for summer
5. Make cupcakes to send to school wednesday
6. Schedule sons' yearly checkup
7. Take back library books
8. Get everything I need for party: plates, cups, streamers, party favors, etc
9. Make Millenium falcon cake - still have no clue what I am going to do

That's all I can think of for now. It seems like enough, unfortunately there is probably more to it.

Update on List

I am liking my list so far. I am updating on saturday since this day is pretty much shot and tomorrow is Easter and will be gone all day. Monday's I never get any thing accomplished except work and dinner. So I am guessing I won't get much more done with last week's list. But it has helped to keep me a litle accountable. I think next time, I will print my own list and tape it somewhere so it is a constant reminder to get things done. I feel so much better.
The next few weeks will be soo crazy that I need some accountability. My dad comes thursday morning, Bud's birthday party is saturday. Then we only have 1 1/2 weeks before we leave for PA and I really want the house in some order if my mom and mother in law are going to be staying here.
Man I need to get busy! See you tuesday with my next list.

Tuesday's List

I don't know about you, but tuesday is really the start of my week. Because I work on mondays, it is really a lost day for me. I have always disliked mondays and tend to not get much accomplished. But tuesdays, I am home and have a fresh start to my week. As the sun is beginning to shine, I am feeling motivated to get my house in order. But I need some accountability I think. So my new thing (and we will see how long this lasts) is to make my list on tuesday for what I want to accomplish this week and I will come back and check off things I have done. Today has been a productive morning so I am off to a good start.
Here is my list for this week:
1. Clean bathrooms - I am embarrased to admit this does not get done on a weeky basis - especially the showers/tubs done
2. Change sheets - again, not done on a weekly basis but really should be, DONE
3. Vacuum house, downstairs gets done tuesdays, thursdays and once on weekends due to dog hair, DID NOT DO UPSTAIRS YET, DOWNSTAIRS DONE
4. Make laundry soap - I am excited to try this - done, we will find out tomorrow how it turned out, I have used it once and it seemed to clean okay, we are doing loads of laundry this weekend so will see more after using it a few times
5. Dust downstairs NOT DONE
6. Get control of my paper mess downstairs - SO NOT DONE
7. Exercise 3 times during the week and once on weekends DID 4 TIMES THIS WEEK AND PROBABLY WON'T GET IT DONE THIS WEEKEND
8. Try a new healthy recipe - NOT DONE
9. Start scrubbing kitchen floor - NOT DONE BUT AT LEAST SWIFFERED IT
10. Get organized for Connor's birthday party including figuring out how in the world I am going to make a Millenium Falcon cake - EASTER TOO PRECEDENT THIS WEEK
11. Clean 2 windows completely including sills, blinds and glass - I hate this job and if I break it down into a couple at a time I might get it done, NOT DONE ADD TO NEXT WEEK'S LIST
I think 10 things are a good number. I will keep you posted on my progress and I plan on taking pictures of the laundry soap making process.

Learning

So I just have to say my friend Abby
showed me how to add links without it being obnoxious. Somehow I just couldn't understand the directions Blogger was giving me. Thanks Abby!

Laundry soap

Yes I am thinking of making my own laundry soap. Never before have I thought this would be something I would do. But after researching it and seeing you can make it for 1 cent a load, that means the Tide I just bought would have cost $1.10 instead of $22. How can you beat that? I am picky about my soap so we will see. Here is the link to the recipe I am going to try: laundry soap
I will keep you posted on how it goes. I might even take pictures.

No more diapers for me!

I don't know how many people have seen Potty Power. But that is the song they sing. We have been working and working on Sweet Pea to try to get her to go on the potty but she either refuses or just sits there and does nothing. Fortunately we have a sitter who is very willing to help potty train. The past 2 weeks if she goes potty at the sitters, she gets to put underwear on. The first week she just proceeded to have accidents. But last week she only had one and came home friday in underwear. That was when she sat on the potty for daddy and didn't go then 10 minutes later hid behind a chair and peed all over the place. Boy was he mad!
But she came home in underwear last night and went twice on the potty. Yay! I see the light at the end of the tunnel. How nice for our budget to not have to buy diapers.
Along the same lines. Son rarely sleeps through the night without going in his pullup. We have been waking him up before we go to bed in hopes it would leave him dry in the morning. It worked at first and then he must have adapted and now wakes up wet, although less wet than before. But at Grandma's over the week, he fell asleep on her couch and slept all night without having an accident and he stayed dry in his pullup the next night. So last night we braved it and since he was doing it, Princess wanted to do it as well. (not quite as scary as she often wakes up dry but when we attempted this before she had accidents every night and freaked out because she was wet so we stopped). They both woke up dry!! Yay! Now I really see the light at the end of the tunnel, no more diapers, no more pullups. I can't wait.
Of course, this was only one night but I am going to attempt it all week. It is spring break and son doesn't have to go to school so what better time to do it. Hopefully he will be night trained by his birthday next month.

Global Food Crisis Day

I was listening to Air 1 (a Christian radio station for those who don't know) this morning on my way to work and was struck by the stories that I heard. Today is Global Food Crisis Day and they are joining with radio stations around the world and Compassion International to raise money for starving people/children. It truly broke my heart to hear of women in Haiti using shortening and mixing it with dirt to literally make mud pies to feed their children just so they have something in their stomachs. And people digging in rat holes to find grains of rice that the rats have collected or men who are the supporters of their families to have to tell their children they have no food to give them. They say every 7 seconds a child dies from hunger, not cancer, not AIDS but hunger. Something that we can all do something about. Here is the link to Compassions' website. I am not sure how long they are taking money for this but I imagine it will go longer than just today.http://www.compassion.com/global-food-crisis/?referer=98494&utm_campaign=gfcradio-air1-98494

As a mother this just brought me to tears hearing of these children. I just went to the store and spent $80 for groceries - for one week. According to Compassion, this would feed like 8 children for an entire month.
I cannot imagine having to tell my children I had no food for their tummies or to literally feed them dirt. It makes me see my life in a different way. I am truly blessed and need to remember not to take things for granted.

Weight

As most women I know, I struggle with weight. I am not one who can eat whatever I want and not gain a pound. I am not really overweight either. My struggle right now is my post C-section body. It just didn't bounce back the way it did after my first 2 kids with natural deliveries.
I actually lost most of the baby weight while nursing my youngest. But then I stalled. After I quit nursing last spring, I started exercising. Fairly regularly. I would walk and try to run some (which I hate!), I was using free weights and doing ball exercises. I could not lose a single pound more. One problem I think was that I was still eating as if I were nursing. I could literally eat as much as my husband who is 6 feet tall. That was not the best for me. But I kept exercising all summer and into the fall. I finally stopped when things got crazy busy with soccer and the holidays. Guess what happened? I lost 3 pounds. Crazy I know. So 2 things happened I think. I finally started eating less. That was good. But I can only guess that I also lost some muscle. I have no other explanation.
Now, I am trying to exercise again. But I am not walking. It wasn't doing me any good. I tell people all the time to walk, that it is great exercise. But I think for me, I need something a little more and my body probably also adapted to the walking.
I have started doing Jillian Michael's workouts from the Biggest Loser. She is tough. It is really hard and is pushing me to my limits for sure. I love having On Demand. I am getting to try all of these exercise videos for free. And it has gotten my husband exercising again. We both have no excuse when we can do it inside for 30 minutes and get a really good workout.
This week it looks like I might have lost another pound. I don't really count it as a loss however, until it stays off for a couple of weeks. My weight tends to bounce around a little. But it is encouraging to see a change. What I want more than the lose pounds though, is to lose this post C-section stomach.
So I am off to exercise.

My Hero

I bought a dress for my princess. I debated on what size to get and stupidly picked the smaller size. I always buy a bigger size especially if it is for an upcoming season that is still a few months way. But I looove the dress! It looks so good on her, it is brown and pink and she really looks beautiful in it. But nonetheless, it was going to be too small by summer. So, I thought I would just take it back and exchange. Went to the Target in Salem, they didn't have a 5T. Okay, so sent my husband to the one in Sherwood where I originally bought it and I know they had a 5T just a few days ago. But no, he couldn't even find the rack at first that held the dresses. He wandered all over the girls section with 2 cranky girls (one was also poopy) and finally found where they were only to discover they did not have a 5T. He called me, he knew I loved the dress and I suggested he ask a sales person to track one down. Well, they apparently had one somewhere at the Sherwood store but he was not going to look through every nook and crany to find it, they had 1 in Wilsonville and 2 at Washington Square (these places are in complete opposite direction from each other). He decided to try Wilsonville and if they didn't have it to backtrack to the other store (I would have gone in the direction of the 2 dresses, but that is me). Fortunately, they had it in Wilsonville. Yay! I will post pictures later and you will see what I mean. Okay, so "hero" might be too strong of a work, but the fact that he was willing to drive all over the place to find this dress for his daughter (and for me since I loved it so much) just makes me love him more. 4 years ago I bet he would never have imagined doing that.

Difference between men and women

We had a meeting with the women of our church last weekend. The pastor's wife and assistant's pastor's wife shared part of their testimonies. It was really amazing to hear and I just had to share part of one from our pastor's wife. It just solidifies my gratefulness in being a part of this amazing church body. Hopefully she won't mind my sharing it here.
She became a Christian at age 19 and engaged sometime after, I am not exactly sure when. But our pastor comes from a very strong and Godly Christian family and she was feeling shame for her past, like she would not be able to measure up. (Of course I am summarizing quickly here). They were at someone's house who had a pool and it was fall so they were sort of bundled up. The pool hadn't been drained or covered and had leaves in it that were rotting and soggy and gross. She was poking him and teasing him, and being silly. He told her if she poked him again, he would pick her up and throw her in the pool. So of course she did it again (wouldn't you have?) He picked her up, threw her over his shoulder and marched to the pool. When he got to the edge, he put her down and jumped in himself. As he came out all dripping wet, cold and covered in who knows what, he said this is what Christ did for you.
Of course she tells it better but what an amazing picture of God's love. And an amazing picture of a man who is so confident in that love and such an amazing teacher that he would take that opportunity to show someone how much God truly loves us. I have always prayed that God's light would shine through me, but do I do it in actions like that? I wonder if I have had moments in my life where God has presented that opportunity to me and I failed to convey His message. I am certain I have never shown Christ's love in such a literal way.
Anway, if you are wondering what my title to this post means, it is what my husband said to me when I started crying just retelling this story. "If I have ever seen the difference between men and women this is it" (or something to that effect). He thought it was a good story, while it brought me to tears. And still does.
I am grateful to be a part of this man's church. I can see I have a lot to learn from him.

Contentment

This is something I am working on. It is so easy to get caught up in the "wants". I find this especially hard when I am trying to cut back on my spending. It just makes me want to buy more. I do this with food as well. If I even think about trying to "diet", I instantly crave everything I shouldn't be having.
I don't indulge myself a lot with things. We are definitely on a budget and with the plan of 2 kids being in private school next year, we really need to watch what we spend. When I do spend money, I almost always buy things on sale and try to get the most for my money. But it is hard. When I am around other people who are a little more casual about their money, or don't have to worry about it so much, or who can buy expensive things etc...it gives me the wants.
Then I have to look around and realize how much we have, we are never wanting for food or clothing or a warm place to sleep. So what if we can't go out to eat in a restaurant all the time or go to movies. We are truly blessed and this is something I plan on focusing on this year.

Feeling picked on

I am feeling picked on by satan. Does this ever happen to you? I know in my head it means I am doing something he doesn't like which means I am hopefully doing something right with God but in my heart it is just hard.
And each time you try to pick yourself up from being pushed down, you get knocked over again by something new.
It's not as bad as it sounds. I am just stressing about finances (aren't we all) and then as I start thinking about how I can cut back, where I can tighten the belt, we get hit with things like car repairs, new tires and homeowners dues.
So I guess that new bra I was going to get b/c the underwire broke in my old one will have to go to the bottom of the priority list.

Life changing decisions

My son accepted Jesus into his heart. We were talking about a classmate whose grandmother died and we were talking about what happens when you die. I guess he and his dad were just talking about this a few days before this so it was fresh in his mind. It took me completely by surprise. We have talked about it before and he said he would when he was older. He didn't even want to wait for his daddy to get home. The girls were taking naps and it was such a sweet moment of prayer for the two of us. Something I will never forget.
I just pray he continues to grow in the Lord and keep his amazing spirit of compassion and sweetness.