Treading Water
Do you ever feel like you are not going anywhere? I don't mean necessarily with big life decisions. I mean in the everyday walk we have. This goes along with my post from the other day. I just feel I am out of control. When I try to start getting control, actually sit down to accomplish something.. to move forward on a project, I get sideline. Sidelined by extra laundry b/c son wet the bed so bad or the dog peed on the carpet bad enough I have to shampoo it, or daughter is so cranky she takes all your attention. There I am, not moving anywhere, just treading water, breaking even.
I see moms who seem to have it all together, they cook, clean, take their kids to the park, have playdates, scrapbook, and always look good (so obviously find time to exercise) and I wonder what is wrong with me?? I know that I work, but part time and even though that takes up three of my days, I still have 4 days to accomplish things, to move forward.
How is this related to my faith you might be asking. I feel I am treading water with my relationship with God as well. I read my Bible a couple times a week, listen to Christian music, try to talk to the kids about God, pray, go to church on Sunday, have a Bible study and Women's Prayer group. Looking at that list seems like it should be enough but it just isn't. I am keeping the status quo. I want more than that with God, I want my kids to see more than that in me. I yearn to feel His peace, His presence, His joy. I know He is there, waiting for me to reach out, waiting to embrace me, waiting for me to start swimming. I know that if I can get this tackled, if I can move forward with God, the other things will fall into place. Or at least I will have better tools to deal with the everydayness of life.
I am just not sure where to begin.
Big Family Food and Fun: April 6-12, 2025
15 hours ago
2 comments:
You have said exactly how I feel here. I too feel like if I could just "fix" my relationship with God the rest would fall into place. But what if we are wrong about that? I'm not saying that having a strong walk with God wouldn't improve our lives, it would without a doubt. But I wonder are we, or am I, counting on a strong walk with God "fixing" everything else when it won't? Sometimes I think we have to just do the best we can and not be so hard on ourselves. Maybe this is the Season in our lives to tread water. I don't mean give up or be complacent!!! But maybe it's God's will for us to tread water sometimes. I am just throwing it out there as a question. Something I'm pondering but I haven't fully formed and opinion on yet. These are the times I miss knowing an older Christian woman who I can ask about stuff like this! I love you sister!
I am sure there are times when "treading water" is sufficient. God knows what we can handle that is for sure. Maybe that is the point. Not trying to "fix" my relationship with God but follow His leading. Maybe He is trying to push me to reach out to Him more, maybe He is putting the desire in me to reach deeper into my Christian faith. I have to assume that if He is the one putting this desire in my heart to be closer to Him, then He will give me the tools I need to accomplish the task. I know that the people who have the best relationships with God, don't necessarily have the rest of their lives down perfect. I just think having a better relationship with God will give me a better perspective and maybe even allow me to not be so hard on myself. Thanks Abby for making me look deeper at the subject!
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