Dec. 10th

     I know that God shapes my life daily when I let Him.  But there are specific things in my life, where I see His hand very clearly.  One of those things is my husband. 
     I fell in love with him the first time I saw him.  He was literally one of the first boys I met at George Fox.  I think it was his eyes that caught me.  However, he just didn't feel the same way.  And as an 18 year old that was so tragic.  But I got over it and we became friends of sorts.  My sophomore year, I was sort of discouraged about men.  It is hard when you are shy and you see friends who have boyfriends and want so badly for someone to love you.  But when you are still broken, and I was broken by my father, that is not a good time to have a boyfriend.  One day I was in my room and it was pouring and I was lonely and sad.  Then a beautiful rainbow showed up right outside my window.  And I felt God's presence in such a strong way.  I saw this picture of His hands, in one was me.  He was carrying me, molding me, healing me.  In the other was this unknown boy.  Whom He was also shaping and molding, guiding him toward manhood.  And I knew. That was the man I was going to marry. That God was in control.  I wrote down my list.  My list of qualities I wanted in a man.  I literally had no picture of this guy in my head.  I didn't see faces of boys I knew at school.  All I saw was a shadow, in God's hand.
     My senior year, this boy I had been so in love with my freshman year came back in the picture through a mutual friend.  He had just broken up with his girlfriend and started hanging out with my group of friends again.  I was so grateful to be over him and to appreciate him as a friend.  That is how I truly felt when he started hanging out with us.  And that enabled me to be myself.  A group of us went to the beach one weekend and stayed at Twin Rocks.  He and I stayed up all night talking.  It was amazing really.  I have no idea what we talked about.  And it wasn't flirting or anything like that.  It was just 2 friends talking.  When we actually started dating about a month later.  I knew.  I knew he was the one that God held in his hands.  I had found the notecard a few months earlier trying to make it fit to this other guy I was interested in, but it hadn't been quite right.  But for this man, everything fit.  There wasn't one thing on that notecard that wasn't a part of who my husband was.  He was that man.  And I am so lucky...no blessed to have him.  He is an amazing husband and somtimes I take him for granted and forget to appreciate all that he does.  But I love him with all my heart.
     If we had started dating our freshman year, it would have been so different.  We both had things to do before we could be together.  I am so glad I have a God whom I can trust, who knows our futures, knows our needs, wants what is best for us.  But also a God who brings comfort and assurance.  What an amazing gift that is in this world that can be so difficult at times.