January goal

I can hardly believe that January is nearly over.  Usually, January sort of drags for me.  It is a long month with lots of rain and darkness.  But we made it.  I have spent the last week thinking about my goal of limiting sugar and if I was successful or not. 
Last weekend was definitely not successful and I had a tummyache to prove it.  But, it was a PMS week and I just didn't care what I ate.  Although, I should say I still ate less junk than I normally would have.
Overall, I ended up with about 5 sweets a week.  I was shooting for 4 but it seemed on Sundays I would give in with just one more.  But you know what, that is okay with me.  Because I did have lots of successful moments.
Like having an open box of See's chocolates sitting next to me at work all week and not having any.  None.  Zip. Zilch.  I opened the box.  I even smelled them.  Boy did they look good!  I don't get stuff like that b/c of my son's allergy so it would have been a real treat.  But I refrained and it was hard!
And last night my husband sat next to me while we were watching a movie and opened a bag of Red Vines.  The smell called my name.  I love Red Vines, especially with movie watching.  But I didn't eat any.  And it was hard too!
Or when we went to my father in law's and where I usually indulge in lots of great things, hot chocolate topped with ice cream, M&M's, mints, and lots of pop.  But I held back and I think ended up only having 1 dessert and 1 pop.  Pretty good I would say.
It helps that I relost the 5 pounds I had gained over Christmas.  I didn't do anything extra but eat less sweets.  I honestly haven't weighed this much since way before my son was born and he is almost 8.  Seeing the scale drop definitely helped me keep on task. 
But the weight wasn't really what this was about.  I wanted to really see what hold food had on me.  I wanted to start the new year off on a semihealthy note.  I wanted a break from sugar. 
What I learned is how often I reach for sweets.  I didn't realize how much sugar I ate.  I knew I ate some but I have never been the binge kind of person.  I don't eat a whole package of cookies or tub of ice cream in one sitting.  So I never really thought it was an issue for me.  I just reach for them when I am munchy, or stressed, or in between meals, or stressed, or to tide me over when making dinner, or when I am stressed.  See the pattern?  This past month, whenever I felt emotional or stressed, all I wanted was sugar.  Especially at the beginning.  I will say this decreased some as the month went on and reaching for sugar was more out of habit. 
I am going to contine this into February.  I am not sure how long I will do it.  I am going on a month by month basis here and it happens to fit into my February goal.  I really want to change my habits and I think it will take longer than just one month to do it.  February might be hard.  It is Valentine's month.  We already have candy out at work, the kids will be getting lots of candy at school and their sitters, plus it is my youngests' birthday.  So wish me luck or better yet, keep praying.
I will share my February goal next time.

I am feeling a little behind

I have a lot of things running around in my head that I want to write about but I am just too tired tonight.  I know I need to post the calender my hubby did and thanks to my friend Marta, I think I can figure it out but it's not on my laptop so you are out of luck tonight. Maybe tomorrow.
My hubby and I spent all evening working on a Disneyland trip and it is truly exhausting, add to that a poor nights sleep and I honestly should be in bed. 
But, I know there is a lot going on out there.  I have some friends hurting right now.  Some things are transient like having a virus and some are long term heartbreaks.  And I just wanted you all to know that I am praying for you.  It is always comforting to me to know someone is thinking about me so I wanted to put that out there.
And one prayer request for my family. We have had to make the difficult decision to put our kitty to sleep.  We are not sure yet when we are going to do it but she has cancer, is jaundiced and dehydrated and the vet felt she was suffering which is the last thing we want.  We have kind of talked to the kids but I know it is going to be hard for them to say goodbye.  So prayer for words to say, and healing from the grief.  They still talk regularly about missing our precious Maggie that we had to put to sleep almost 2 years ago and that was when my youngest was 2!  So clearly it makes an impression on them.
Plus, we have had her for almost 13 years.  She is part of the family and will be great missed! 
And if there are any other specific prayer requests that you would like from me, please let me know.

One of my new favorite blogs

This is one of my new favorite blogs.  She is so funny and honest.  Seriously, you should really check her out.  Plus she just posted a ton of tips for Disneyland and we just started planning our first trip there.  I am planning on using a bunch of her tips, they are awesome!

Oh boy does my husband love spreadsheets and how it benefits me

I probably haven't put on here how much my husband loves to organize things into spreadsheets.  If he has a list to be made he puts it in a spreadsheet, if he has a pros/cons to go through - spreadsheet, for the budget, for camping lists, when we refinanced our house...spreadsheets.  He loves them!
Me?  I have no idea how to make a spreadsheet.  I can read them, and even add things to them, but create them?  No way.
How does his "gift" help me?  If I need something in spreadsheet form, he's the man.  Occasionally, I need one and don't even realize it.
For example.  Last year I used this daily planner from Motivate Moms and I really loved lots of stuff about it.  For $8 you can download it and it is really complete.  I used it faithfully.  For 5 months.  Then, I got distracted.  Then trying to go back to it, it just didn't quite work for me.  One thing is I am not home every day of the week.  I am gone 3 days a week and home 2 days and my husband is home one of those days I am at work.  So that gives us 3 days a week to get everything done.  So I considered buying this one instead this year because then I could see the whole week and mark things off as I did them.
But, I also considered making my own and tailor it to my needs.  But, it ended up being in my mile long "to-do" pile and forgotten about.  So when I mentioned to my husband that I was thinking of that.  He immediately offered to do it for me.  What took him just a couple of hours, would have taken me days probably.  And I think it looks pretty good. 
I know that there will be some changes to it as we think of things to add but I think it is going to work for us.
And as much as I would like to post a link to it here to show you how amazing it is.  I have no idea how to do that.  Apparently I am not as computer savvy as I like to think I am.  If anyone can direct me to how to do it, I would love to show it to you guys.  Otherwise, you will just have to imagine it's awesomeness! 

Maybe it's the weather

I've been a little grumpy lately.  Not really sure why but I am definitely sick of the gloom.  I get that the rain makes everything green and beautiful here but I get tired of the clouds for sure.
So what is the best way to get over yourself?  Praying for other people. 
So if anyone has any prayer requests, please please share.  I really could use a distraction from my sorry self!

Had to share this

I just had to highlight Lainie's post today because it is so awesome.  She is someone from church and has a lot of wisdom.  It was very timely and convicting to me I was wasting time on the computer today.  But not only was in convicting, it was reassuring.  I love how God's grace comes through her words. 

January goal update

I don't really feel like I am failing but I wouldn't say my avoidance of sugar has been hugely successful.  I have allowed myself cheats and I will have to admit I went one over last week if you count my frosted miniwheats for dinner one night.  So that was last week.
Yesterday was the beginning on week 2, I really wanted a mocha.  There goes cheat 1, then we had pizza and I really wanted root beer, cheat 2.  So 2 down in the first day. 
Today, I inadvertantly tried my daughters cotton candy.  I really wasn't even thinking.  But I am not counting it.  I don't care, it was a miniscule bite.  Really, really small.  I am only disclosing this b/c I feel the need to come clean.
So that is how my avoidance of sugar is going.
But, there are some successes.  Usually when we go to my father in laws, I eat a lot of junk.  Ice cream, desserts, candy, pop, hot chocolate topped with ice cream (yummy!), you get the picture.  Lots and lots of goodies.  I had one dessert and one can of pop on my way home.  That was it!  So even though I went over a cheat last week, I did really good to control myself over the weekend even as I watched them eating my toffee that I brought them (so good!).
I will admit one more thing though, I felt kind of lousy monday.  After eating just a couple of things, it just didn't settle well with me.  Making me realize more and more how sugar affects me in a bad way.  Plus, it is making me see what a hold food in general has over me.  Something, I really want to conquer.  Because, I do like my sweets.  I am not doing this to give them up permanently.  Maybe I should but I really just want to get a handle on things.  I think some in moderation is key for me with all food.  And that is what I am trying to figure out.

I love saving $

I guess most of us do but I know a lot of people who don't feel it is worth the effort to coupon.  Which is fine with me b/c that leaves more on the shelves for me when there are great sales.
Tuesday is typically my run errands/couponing day.  Sometimes, I am organized.  I know exactly what I want, my coupons are in order and I am all set.  Other days are more like today, where I had a general idea of what I was going to get but my coupons were all over the place and it felt a little more like work.  Plus, there was the Safeway $10/50 coupon which I sort of hate but feel compelled to use anyway.  I know there are people out there that can get their stores to take the $10 off before manufacturers coupons but I have been to 2 stores and they won't do it.  They say the computer does it for them and won't take it off unless I have $50 total and that exludes liquid diary:-(  Knowing this, and knowing I needed dog food which adds up quickly, I went ahead and used the dumb coupon.  But even though I was being careful, adding in my head the after sale/coupon price of things, I didn't count on 2 ecoupons that I had.  They were really good coupons (can I just say 24 rolls of Charmin for $6.95!) but it put me under.  So I quickly grabbed gum (buy 2 get 1 free Trident which my kids love) and yay, that put me at $50.43 so I could use the coupon and drop it to $40.43.  Phew. I still wish I could get my total under $40 but oh well.  I either gotta deal with it or don't use the coupon.

But, Albertson's.  Oh Albertson's.  I love them.  Never used to shop there b/c their ad is over the top with too much information.  And I still don't really look at the ad, I look at couponing blogs.  And this is what happens: (don't you just loovvee my new Fiestaware canisters?  They are so pretty!)

 

That's 5 boxes of pasta, 2 soy candles, 2 bottles of kids shampoo, 2 salsas, 2 Swiss Miss, 1 Finish dishwashing tabs, 1 package Halls: $4. 77.  It could have been $1 less had I not splurged in the Swiss Miss Capuccino but oh well, it was too tempting to pass up.  Quite honestly, I am not even sure how I did it.  I did have coupons for everything and 6 doublers and did this in 2 transactions (the cashier was awesome!).  The thing I love about this is that except for the hot chocolate, it is all either healthy stuff or household stuff that is needed.  One thing I don't like about couponing is seeing people get 20 boxes of fruit snacks for like $2.  Okay, really, do you need that many fruit snacks?  (Honestly, I did something like that a few months ago and haven't even touched the boxes, I think I am using them in Valentines for school).  But this shows you can get stuff you need and save lots of money.  And if I had been organized to begin with, it would have taken hardly any time at all.  

And just in case you were wondering, at Safeway, I did buy my normal groceries...eggs, milk, produce, yogurt, stuff like that.  So now I am set for the week because my pantry is full and I don't even have to go to Winco this week.  Which is super exciting!  I might have to go to Rite Aid on my way home from work instead.  I really like Rite Aid! :-) 

Word of the Year

     KLove has been talking about picking your word of the year that you want to represent yourself with.  How you want to live this upcoming year.  I wasn't actively trying to pick a word but a word kept popping up in my mind. 
     Intentional.  Being intentional with the things I do, how I spend my time, things I eat, my relationship with God.  All of it should be with intention.  I often feel as though I am just bumbling through life and I feel like I am missing so much.  I really want to take control of that this year.  So you might be seeing this word a lot in my blog as I am trying to incorporate it in my plans.   Hopefully at the end of this year, I will be able to look back and see that I have truly been intentional and actually accomplished a few things.
    

ARRRRRGGGHHH!

I feel better now.  It was a really great day as I posted previously until I put lotion on my hands and discovered a red streak going up my arm from my excema that won't heal.  I go to Immediate Care only to discover that not only do I have an infection but also probably something called herpetic whitlow.  Never heard of it?  Yeah, me neither but the doctor almost seemed excited and told me I was "the interesting case of the evening".  Great.  Medically, that is not what you want to be.  Apparently it is common in healthcare workers.  So how come I have never heard of it?
Anyway, back on antibiotics and antivirals.  I realize that I am not that sick.  There are lots of people who are way worse off that me but man this makes me look forward to heaven where we won't be tied to these imperfect bodies.

Success!

I know you are probably absolutely tired of my talking about staying away from sugar but today is a good day and I just wanted to encourage people who are trying this that there are good days involved.  Yesterday was really hard.  I think my withdrawls were strong.  I was cranky and tired and out of sorts.  But today is totally different.  I feel great actually and I didn't even exercise which always gives me a boost.  Plus I have lost 3 of the 5 pounds I gained over Christmas which makes me feel even better. 
Thanks to Sarah for giving me encouragement and telling me that it gets better after 3 days.  That gave me hope and she was absolutely right.

Testing my self control

This is day 2 of my limited sweet intake and while it has been easier in some ways, it has been a test of my self control.  I had a friend from church come over who wanted to learn how to make almond roca (really roca b/c we don't do nuts around here) and oh my is it hard to refrain from eating it.  There were several moments where I just wanted to pick up a crumb and pop it in my mouth.  But I refrained, for now at least.  Still trying to save my "cheats" because I know I will need at least one this weekend.
Thanks for all your prayers and encouragement, it really does make a difference.
I have sort of dropped the ball on asking for prayer requests the past couple of weeks but if anyone has something specific they want prayer for, please post a comment.  I love praying for you guys.
Now I am off to finish my smoothie in the hopes I can avoid that yummy looking roca.

Day 1

Can I just say how hard this first day of not eating sugar was.  It was ridiculously difficult.  I am honestly not sure how I am going to handle an entire month of this.  By 9 this morning I was craving sweets, first a mocha, then I would have taken any kind of candy or cookie or anything.  It didn't help that the ingredients I thought I had for dinner were nowhere to be found and I could think of nothing else so I had cold cereal.  In all honesty, I am trying to not count the cereal as one of my cheats but I think I have to, it was frosted miniwheats.  Which I love and think of as somewhat healthy cereal but they are "frosted".  Maybe I needed it to get me through my ice cream crave which happens right about now every night.  At least there is fiber and other good things for you in the shredded wheat aspect of frosted miniwheats.
I really wasn't planning on using my cheat today.  I thought for sure I could get away with one day without sweets.  Praying tomorrow is easier.  Plus I am planning on exercising which will hopefully help fight off cravings, I always feel better when I exercise.

January

Monthly goals.  That is my plan. We will see if I get through 12.  It is iffy but the idea for me with this is to not look too far ahead which is why I am doing this monthly.  So here goes January.
I love food.  I do.  I wish I didn't.  I wish I was like my dad who enjoys food but in the end can sort of take it or leave it.  Unfortunately, I didn't really quite get how much I loved food until recently.  As you know if you have read any of this blog lately, I have been sick a lot this fall.  Really the only benefit of getting sick, is that you just don't feel like eating.  Nothing sounds good.  The result is your stomach shrinks.  This happened to me.  I started losing weight. 
     Now, I have been exercising more regularly since my last child was born almost 4 years ago.  I even went through a period where I exercised 3-5 times a week.  That is a lot when you work, raise 3 kids, 2 pets and a husband.  I lost 2 sizes.  I did not go under my regular weight.  There was nothing I could do seemingly to lose a few extra pounds.  And just when I might have started to lose a pound, I stopped exercising.  Summer came, I got busy, it wasn't a priority.  That was almost 2 years ago.  Since then, I have fluctuated with my weight by a couple of pounds but never gone below that number.  Until this fall.  I lost a pound, then another and another and it became 5 pounds.  Amazing for me.  I wasn't exercising.  I hadn't exercised at all because of being sick but I was eating less.  And when I started feeling better, I made a conscious effort to continue to eat less.  And it felt good and I knew if I added exercise, it would be even better.
     Last week, we had pizza.  I ate 2 pieces and 1 cheesy bread.  And I felt full.  Full.  That is hardly any pizza.  I can usually eat way more than that.  But I was full.  And I felt kind of sad.  Because it was good and I wanted more.  I knew I should stop so I did.  But I had that moment of sadness and then a moment of realization at how much I really love food.  How silly to be sad because I couldn't eat more.  I should be happy.  After all, it helped me lose weight.  I don't need another piece of pizza.  That's when I realized how much I really loved food in an unhealthy way.  Something I needed to change.
     I have 1 more thing to add to the story. Stay with me....this does have something to do with my January resolution.   After Thanksgiving, when I still wasn't feeling well, I got kind of tired of goodies.  I think part of it was that I hadn't been eating them and part was that I got inundated with them with it being the holidays.  I started thinking maybe I should take a time out from sugar in January.  But I have to be honest, the thought kind of panics me.  I am not really an all or nothing kind of person.  The minute I start "depriving" myself, is the very minute I start wanting it more.  If it were health related I could do it.  I have done it.  I got rid of peanuts, peanut butter, all my favorite candies and cookies and recipes because of my sons allergy.  I can do it if I had to.  But the problem is, I don't really have to.  It isn't life or death.  But I still feel like I need to take a break from sugar.  So do I avoid it during the week and allow myself to eat it on the weekends, do I allow myself 1 day or 2?  These were things I have been thinking about and praying about because I know myself.  I needed a cheat.  And then it came to me, a cheat.  I need a cheat for myself to try this.  I know my body would be better in the long run to completely get rid of it, but my heart can't quite wrap itself around that.  Even just thinking about it this week, I think I have gained back the 5 pounds that I lost eating over Christmas and New Years. 
     So my January goals are: eat smaller portions and cut out sweets - with 4 cheats.  The cheat can be a mocha or a hershey's kiss or a cookie but each one will count and if I do it all on monday then I have to wait until the next monday rolls around.  I am starting this monday.  Feel free to pray for me:-)
     If you have any New Year's resolutions or weight loss issues that you want prayer for, please let me know.  I know what a struggle this can be and how helpful it is when people are supporting you through it.