I went to Winco

I did.  On the second of the month.  I thought I was safe.  I avoided the first day of the month.  You know, the day people get their government money and go to Winco and buy cartloads of food.  I avoid it every month.  But I did go yesterday and that was a mistake.  It was busy and I got a baaaaddd attitude about it.  I realized that I need to avoid going on those days because of my attitude.  Not because of other people.
Generally, I understand that there are people out there who need assistance.  And I feel that to whom much is given, much is expected.  I grew up with a single mom who would have benefited from food stamps.  There were times where she was scrounging around the house for change to buy bread or milk to get us through the week.  We never went hungry but it was a stress for all of us.
So I understand that people struggle financially.  That people need help to put food on the table so their kids don't go hungry. 
What I struggle is when I see people who use government assistance because they don't have a job or can't work but when I see them using the assistance in an extravagant way.  Then I become judgemental.  This is where it is my problem.  What they do with the money God has provided for them should really be between them and God.  And I need to be a good steward of what God has given me.  And not to get bitter about what I have which honestly, sometimes seems less than what they have. 
But last night, God reminded me of how good I truly have it and that what I have is not even my own.
I just started reading Acts and what I read last night was "Now all who believed were together, and had all things in common, and sold their possessions and goods, and divided them among all, as anyone had need." Acts 2:44-45
As anyone had need....I have no idea what other people are going through when I see them in the store or in my clinic.  I don't know why they can't work or why they struggle, and I shouldn't really need to know.  God shows us His model of how we are supposed to behave.  How we are supposed to give.  He puts things on our hearts. 
God calls us to be generous.  He calls us to give back.  He calls us to have compassionate hearts and to pray for people. 
It's really easy to get caught up in money.  But it is such a trap and it is temporary.  What I have today could be gone in an instant.  That is not what will sustain me.
I am grateful that He puts this reminder on my heart.  That in obeying Him by reading the Word (something I really struggle with), my heart changed.  And helped me see areas of where I need to pray.

Pray for...

Girlfriends.  I was trying to decide what special thing I wanted to pray extra for this week and I was thinking about the blog and you guys who have sent me such encouraging notes about this.  Friends don't come easy to me.  I am not super social or outgoing.  It takes a lot for me to open up to someone, I have to feel some trust there.  I am definitely not one of those people who know no strangers and sees friends everywhere they go. 
But I do have amazing friends.  Some are friends I have known since I was a little girl, some are from high school, college, graduate school, work, friends from my neighborhood, friends from church.  (Okay, now that I have written all of that out, maybe I do have a lot of friends- but that isn't really my point here)
My point is that I am so grateful for all of my friends.  Each one is special and each one helps me in different ways.  I love my husband.  He actually is my best friend.  If I had no one else but him, I would be okay with that.  But men are different from women (fortunately!) and we see things differently.  He leads with his head, me with my heart and hormones.  Sometimes I need that levelheadedness that he gives me.  Sometimes I just really need someone to sympathize with me even if I am being completely irrational and offer me chocolate.  That's what girlfriends do.  They put up with you trying on a million dresses to wear to a wedding, they offer you shoes or jewelry or a purse to borrow for the occasion, they buy you a treat when you are down or offer to watch your kids when you are overwhelmed, they cry with you when you are sad and rejoice at the happy times.  Friends just get how you think and sometimes that's all you need.  Not someone to fix it, just to understand. 
So this week, dear friends, I am thanking God for each of you and saying an extra prayer for you.  Thank you for being a part of my life.
And remember to pray for the girls in your life.