Why I am back

At the beginning of this year, I was feeling quite overwhelmed with life.  The idea of the blog starting stressing me out which is sort of ridiculous.  At the time, I felt like I didn't have anything to contribute and it was just adding to my list of things I wasn't getting accomplished each day.  So after some prayer about it, I just stopped.  It was actually easier than I thought.  I thought I would miss it.  When I was blogging, I would write the postings in my head on my way to work.  Sometimes they actually got written out and sometimes not.  But when I stopped blogging, that kind of just stopped.
Until recently.   There has been so much going on in my life it makes me sort of laugh at what I thought was busy then and what is busy to me know just a mere 10 months later.
Amazing what a difference 10 months makes.  How drastically your life can change in no time at all. Things happen that you don't prepare for, cannot prepare for.
Anyone who reads this knows my mom has cancer.  Stage 4 lung cancer with metastasis to her liver and bone.  We got the diagnosis in mid-September and it has been a whirlwind since that time.  A craziness of doctors appointments, hospital visits, trips to the pharmacy, extra cooking, cleaning, running errands. 
I am not writing that for anyone to feel sorry for me.  I am actually embracing the crazy, embracing the busy because it is easier.  It is easier to keep my hands from being idle so my heart doesn't have time to hurt, to think...
Obviously I have a lot to process.  And my brain has started up again.  Writing blog posts in my head to/from work.  So here I am.  I don't know where this is going to lead or how often I will actually write or if anyone will even read it.  But for me, this journey that I am on, needs to be written out.  There is so much going on, so much happening too fast that I don't know if I will remember it all.  But you see my time with my mom is short, shorter than I ever anticipated, probably shorter than I am willing to come to terms with at this very moment and I need to remember.  I need to remember her grace and peace, her rescuing me with my kids, going to soccer games and piano lessons, my kids cuddling on the couch with her, or watching as we shave her head....all of these moments are passing by.  Moments I would not have stopped to noticed before but that are so precious now. 
So here I am, sharing my journey.  My journey where my mom is going to die.  I realize that is blunt but it is the truth I have to face every day. 
Don't let that stop you though from reading.  It might be hard but what I have seen so far is amazing.  I want to share not just my journey but my mom's.  What God has done is a miracle to me and I can't wait to share it.
Stay tuned.