Can you smell the rain?

This doesn't happen as much in Oregon, but in Utah and Kansas where I grew up, you could smell the rain coming.  In the summer, when it was dry and hot and you got that whiff...it was so exciting to know it was about to downpour.  To cool things off, settle the dust.  A pouring rain in the hot summer months is a great thing for a child to play in.  I loved it!
It also meant change.  A small change maybe.  A brief change probably.  But a change.  And when you have had days and days of dry weather, a change can be good.
I can honestly say, that the past few years has been the least amount of change I have experienced in a long time.  We have been very stable.  We have lived in the same house, had the same number of children, the same jobs, the same cars.  I am not saying this to complain.  Believe me.  It has been nice to settle into some sort of routine. 
But I know life.  And I know how God works in my life.  Often, when I am feeling stable and settled is when He shakes things up a bit. 
I don't exactly know if that is happening in my life right now.  There are a couple of things my husband and I are praying about, some decisions we need to make.  I don't know where God is going to take us but, these decisions have gotten me thinking about my life.  My desires, things I want to accomplish, actions I want to take. 
There are a lot of things on those lists.  Too many things on those lists really.  As a working mom, as a mom, there is so much busyness.  There are so many things that we strive to achieve.  But realistically we cannot do it all.  We read blogs and wonder why we can't have it all together.  I wish I could be crafty and pull out amazing things for my kids to occupy their time, or grind my own flour and make my own bread, or take them to music lessons, swim lessons, the library....it goes on and on but it is impossible for me to do everything that I want to do. 
So instead of feeling like I am failing at doing lots of things, I need to sit down and figure out what few things I can do that are the right things.
This blog is one of those things.  I started it out as a way to journal some of my crazy thoughts as a working mom.  But I am not sure where it is going.  I am not even sure I have time to do it.  Is it something that is beneficial for me to continue?  And if I continue, what do I want my focus to be.  I have a friend who is an amazing blogger.  Her posts make me laugh and cry and stop and breathe.  She is amazing!  Truly, if you are looking for a new blog to read, check hers out.  But I am feeling super unfocused here and while I realize I will never be an amazing writer and I have no aspirations for this to become something huge, I need to know if it is truly something I should be doing.  
So, for those 2 of you who read this:-)  I would love your prayers and I will update as I get a few things sorted out.