Is Santa Claus Real?

     I have been dreading those words this year.  Santa has never been a big deal in our house.  When our son was still a baby, my husband and I decided we wouldn't "do" Santa but we never set up a game plan on how to approach the issue.  Mostly, we just downplayed him and tried to avoid the subject. 
     But it is really hard to avoid Santa.  We did let them see the old classic Christmas movies because they are fun and were childhood favorites of ours.  But we never had them take pictures with Santa, write letters to Santa, leave out cookies for Santa or have them open presents specifically from Santa.  We do stockings but I have never used special wrapping paper to hide that the gifts were actually from us. 
Last year, there were a few questions but nothing significant. 
     That all changed this year.  My oldest really started believing in Santa, apparently he figured out that stockings are supposed to be from Santa.  I am sure he heard other kids talking about Santa.  He wrote a letter to Santa and asked how we would get it to him.
     Sunday, the kids watched the Veggie Tales about St. Nick.  We bought it last year but I think they only watched it once and nothing really sank in.  This year, my husband delicately talked about how there was a St. Nick who died and that people model Santa after him.  My son didn't get it, but my 5 year old did.  So at dinner last night, she said something about Santa not being real and that St. Nick died a long time ago.  I wasn't really paying attention to their conversation to be honest until my son calls out "Mom, is Santa real?".  Standing in the kitchen, I froze momentarily.  I didn't have a game plan.  Hubby and I talked about how we might pull son aside and explain it to him, but I wasn't prepared to answer this off the cuff in front of the girls.  So I took a deep breath and went in to the dinner table and looked at those beautiful, innocent faces and I couldn't lie.  I couldn't hedge.  I knew I had to tell them the truth.  (And I do believe it was God forcing the issue on me)
     I looked at the 3 of them, and said "no, Santa is not real".  My son tried to argue, he said "what about the stockings".  I told him, grownups filled stockings.  I wasn't sure how he would react.  I reiterated about St. Nick.  My 5 year old said "I know, Daddy told us".  Clearly she wasn't disappointed.  But I know my son had that moment, that loss when you realize something isn't magical like you had dreamed it was.  And my heart did ache a little.  As a child, I loved believing in Santa.  I don't condemn anyone who has their kids believe in Santa.  I am still sort of conflicted about it. 
     Except in 2 ways.  One: I hate lying.  I am quite relieved they know the truth.  I don't have to try to come up with a truth in something that isn't true.  Two, and this is something I just realized today as I was thinking about blogging this story: I know that my kids won't look at me one day and say "Is God real?".  Not in the sense that I taught them something to believe in that they can't see only to learn it was all made up.  They might question God's existence someday.  I think most Christians do.  But I know that when I tell them that God is real, they will have a background of me telling them the truth.   Their having a relationship with God is my biggest priority as a parent.    Hopefully now, we have established trust and I pray that it sticks with them.