Disobedience

Do you ever have those moments where you know you have been disobedient to God.  He puts something on your heart and whether you have good intentions to obey or outright decide to ignore those whispers, it is disobedience.  Something I have been trying to instill in my own children since they were born and something that is a constant struggle as a parent. 
As a child of God, I fall under this category more times than I would like to admit. 
But, when I put something out there in cyberspace for the world to see (okay only a few people really) and then don't follow through, I have to be openly accountable as to why.
So I have had lots of excuses all summer for why I haven't changed my blog: too much going on this summer, too much work and not enough time to fine tune it, haven't totally visualized my concept...all valid reasons but still excuses.  But the real reason?  I think being vulnerable to the public.  Putting myself out there.  It is super duper hard for me.  This is something I have been praying in earnest for my Princess.  She wavered all summer on whether to play soccer for the first time this fall.  She decided on the last day to do it.  I was fine either way but she knew that if she decided to do it, she would have to follow through and it has been a very  emotional 4 weeks for her.  You see, my daughter is a mini-me.  I was so painfully shy when I was little, I wouldn't try anything.  When I look back at my life and think about the things I didn't do because I was too scared, it makes me sad.  I don't want that life for her.  I want her to find courage in God, to feel His strength pouring through her.  But just as I was writing this introduction, I realized I am still falling into those habits.  God has done some amazing things in my life when I have taken the plunge relying only on Him.
So,  do I really need to make this harder than it should be?  No.  Can I fine tune it as I go along?  Can I change the format once I figure out what I want? Yes.
So for those of you who actually read this and know I was up to something, it is coming.  And for those who are knew, I hope you are able to get something out of this.
I know I will rest easier once I obey His urgings.