Women of Faith

My parents were not believers when I was very little. My mom became a Christian when I was 8 and then my dad left. And that sort of defines her walk with God. Someone who takes things away. I became a Christian after my dad left. Even though we were in a really good church, a through the Bible church and I went to private Christian schools, I look at that time in my life as missing seeing strong Christian women. There probably were some that I just didn't really see or appreciate or maybe didn't realize I needed that sort of mentor ...until now.
Now, we belong to an amazing fellowship of believers. There are these women who exude God. It's like it is coming out of their pores. Don't get me wrong, I am not putting them up on a pedestal necessarily but I am coveting a relationship with Jesus that I see in these women. Women who read the Bible, memorize it, study it, seek God daily. Women who love their children and who are Godly mothers.
I want to be that kind of mom. I don't want my kids looking at me and seeing my struggles. Not that I want to hide them from them exactly, I just don't want my struggles to be their struggles. I want them to see that when I am having a hard time with something, I seek God. I want them to know that I pray for them daily, that I trust them in God's hands, that He loves them as much as I love them. I want them to feel secure in my love, in God's love, in life.
Unfortunately, as a person, I am a sinner, imperfect and unworthy and sometimes my kids get the full brunt of that. I am so greatful, to see that it is possible. It is possible to be a Godly mother, to raise kids that love God and stay in love with God as they grow older and not stray. That is truly one of my biggest fears, that I will not give my children the strong foundation they need to not stray from God. But now I have hope and pray that I can become one of these women and that there will be a time when I am so full of Christ, He will flow out of me in everything that I do.