Getting started, part 1

Honestly, I am not sure at this point whether I will share this site with anyone, maybe my closest friends. I am just trying to make sense of it all. I have a family blog with pictures of the kids but this is for me. As I struggle between working and being home. As I try to answer the question of people why do I work or try to ignore the looks of pity I get when I tell people I am working. This is especially true in the Christian community where there is an upsurge in the number of moms staying home to raise their children. I understand why women stay home full time to be moms. Being a mom is a great and wonderous and challenging job. Some people are great at staying home. They bake and clean and volunteer at their children's schools, they organize playdates and take their kids to libraries and pet shops and toy stores. They should be admired. I, however, am not one of those moms. I love my kids and would do anything for them. I know God put on my heart the desire to be a physical therapist and I know He put on my heart the desire to be a mom. I love working. Getting out there and having conversations apart from mommyhood. But then at the end of the day, I love coming home to be with my kids. I don't feel guilty because I work....until I get those looks. Then I have to reconvince myself that I am doing what I feel God is calling me to do.